Shadow Girls
by Akurai
Summary: That fic where all the shadows are in fact girls. It's taken certain rainbow haired idiots waaaaay longer than it should have to realize, but now that the secret's out, hijinks and hilarity ensue. (fem!Kuroko, fem!Takao, fem!Mayuzumi)
1. Shadow Girls

Shadow Girls

Summary: That fic where all the shadows are in fact girls . . .

. . . And certain rainbow haired idiots remain oblivious waaaaay longer than they should.

Rating: T for language and girls in their underwear

Pairings: Undecided

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

It wasn't like Kuroko was keeping it a secret. She just never bothered correcting other peoples' mistakes and assumptions. It was easier that way. She'd learned that before middle school. And if, at some point in middle school, she started to feel in a way where she regretted not letting them know from the start, well, the way things ended made her glad that she never corrected them after all.

There are some paths, once started down, that you can never turn back from.

Seirin does not make the same oversight as everyone at Teiko. Right from the start, the truth gets thrown out into the open.

"Take your shirt off!" decreed the coach.

And Kuroko was only startled for a moment.

"What? Okay."

She obeyed the order, knowing that there would be, could be, no misunderstanding after this, and that it was only a matter of time before everyone she'd kept the truth from found out.

But at the same time she couldn't help but feel profound relief that there would be people who saw her for who she truly was. People who found out on their own, and never formed misconceptions about her.

"What? What, what, what?!"

"Coach! He – she!"

"Put your shirt back on! Put it back on!" Riko screamed, and moved to physically try to shield Kuroko from the boys.

Kuroko didn't see what the big deal was. She was wearing a sports bra. It covered more than her bathing suit.

But she obeyed the order and put her shirt back on.

The boys were all bright red. Even the American returnee, who Kuroko would have thought would have been used to seeing more skin on girls. His face was as red as his hair as he distinctly looked in any direction except toward her.

Then, one of the seniors decided to say it out loud, either to make sure there was no misunderstanding or because he just liked stating the obvious.

"You're a girl!"

(And Seirin manages to discover in the first 5 min of practice what Teikou never uncovered.)

* * *

Midorima's jaw dropped.

And dropped.

And dropped even further so it was resting comfortably on the locker room floor.

Takao was the one wearing an annoyed look for once. She finished hooking her bra before turning to face him. "Dude, get out. I'm changing!"

Then she grabbed the shower stall's curtain and jerked it back into place.

Midorima gaped at the curtain like a fish.

"Midorima." The captain's curt voice startled him out of his reverie. "Get back here. Now. You know the rules."

Midorima's feet obeyed the order like he'd been put on autopilot.

"What's that look, freshman?" demanded Kimura.

"Hey, wait. Takao's changing back there and you . . . were you peeping at her? Kimura, get me a pineapple!" shouted Miyaji.

"You knew he – she was a girl?" demanded Midorima.

Everyone stared at him like he was crazy.

"You didn't?" Kimura finally asked.

"How could you not know?" Miyaji demanded.

"Just what did you think Coach was talking about when he was going over what procedures we'd be following _now that we've got a girl on the team?"_ Kimura wanted to know.

"What are you talking about? What procedures?" Midorima demanded.

"Wait. Oh no." Ootsubo looked pale.

"What is it, Captain?"

"I think Midorima was off shooting alone when Coach went over that, now I think about it. Using one of his three selfish requests."

"Oh. Ok. But still. How could you of all people not know she was a girl?"

"How was I supposed to know?" demanded Midorima.

"You two've been hanging out in your free time! Don't you think you should have noticed?"

"What was there to notice?!"

"Well, I have these things called boobs. You might have heard of them. Or seen them. Well, you've certainly seen them now," said Takao, walking into the locker room, said boobs now mercifully covered by her school uniform.

"Midorima, _teme . . ."_ Miyaji growled. He looked ready to skin Midorima alive.

Takao had long had the ability to make Midorima feel flustered. And that was before he found out he'd been mistaking her gender for almost a month now.

"You were wearing the boy's uniform outside of school!" he shouted at her.

"Huh? Oh, that time we went to Kaijou? Yeah, I stole that from one of the guys in my gym class. I wasn't going to ride a bike all the way to Kanegawa wearing a skirt. Ha." Takao looked like the very idea was laughable.

Then she looked like something occurred to her.

"Hey, is that why you ignore me when I say hi to you in the halls?"

"What?"

The older regulars looked like they wanted to pound their heads against the lockers. Midorima felt like doing the same.

"Takao, the rest of us need to change. So if you're finished," Ootsubo prompted, politely and patiently.

"Right. Sorry. But dude, Midorima, stop gawking at me like that. You're the last one here who should be so surprised."

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Midorima, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Well, you're the only one here I know whose middle school team had a girl as one of the regulars for two years."

"What?" Midorima demanded.

Takao's blue-gray eyes blinked. "Don't tell me you didn't know about that either."

"What, no. There was no girl in the Generation of Miracles. There was no girl in Teikou's _boy's basketball club!"_ insisted Midorima.

"Ya hah, there was," insisted Takao right back.

"No, there was not!"

The other players were looking back and forth between them, like this was a tennis match. A particularly interesting one at that. It was clear they'd much rather follow this debate than change and so not even Ootsubo prompted them again.

"Dude, there was definitely a girl on your team. How could you not know?"

"Who was it then?" demanded Midorima. He decided this was the best way to nip this in the bud. He'd seen all the guys there without their shirts on plenty of times, and if you gave him a few moments he could recant a pointless story about some of those times. Jokes made while changing, conversations held, arguments, etcetera.

"Kuroko-chan. Duh," said Takao.

"Nonsense. Kuroko . . ."

Then Midorima stopped. Had he ever actually seen Kuroko without his shirt on? Kuroko had been damn near invisible to start with. He couldn't help but feel the prickling of doubt.

"Kuroko was definitely not a girl!" he insisted.

"Kuroko definitely was a girl!" argued Takao.

"No, he is not!"

Midorima had to admit that out of all of them, Kuroko was the one most likely to be a girl in disguise, but that didn't mean he was one! His best friend had been Aomine, and Aomine definitely wouldn't have been able to keep something like that a secret! Kise would have, or at least should have figured it out during the many times he'd throttled Kuroko . . . which if Kuroko was a girl, probably definitely would have been classified as feeling him/her up. Akashi, at the very least would have known and put a stop to any potential sexual harassment lawsuits!

"Dude! Kuroko is a girl! Trust me!" said Takao, drawing herself up to full height.

"I'm telling you, he's not!"

Takao then took on the air of someone about to deliver the cou de grace. "Then why, when our schools played each other, was she able to loan me a tampon when I asked her for one?"

(Takao, in any incarnation, just looooooves making Shin-chan uncomfortable)

(The rest of Shuutoku has known since the first day of practice that Takao's a chick)

* * *

"You're a regular now. You're expected to use the same facilities as the other regulars," said Akashi in that imperial way of his.

Mayuzumi let a little bit of displeasure steep into her blank stare.

"I'll have no more of you slinking off alone somewhere to change. That self consciousness does not belong in a member of elites like us," Akashi said, not caring how she felt about changing in front of a room full of guys.

Alright then. Ok.

"Fine," said Mayuzumi. Then she started to strip.

Her shorts came off first. Akashi, seeing that he'd won, had already turned away by the time they hit her ankles. Her shirt came next. Then the scream.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WTF?" the obnoxious one, Hayama shouted.

Standing there in her plain white cotton panties, mismatched with her sheer silver bra, Mayuzumi turned to look at him dispassionately.

On either side of Hayama, the other two regulars were staring as well. Nebuya looked like he was choking. Mibuchi, on the other hand, was staring at Mayuzumi's modest B cups with more envy than anyone had ever looked at Mayuzumi with before.

"G-Guh! Akashi! What the actual hell?" Nebuya managed to ask when he drew enough breath to.

"Sei-chan. This is most inappropriate. You should not put a young lady in a room full of men and ask her to take her clothes off," sniffed Mibuchi, though he sounded indignant on Mayuzumi's behalf despite his envy.

"What? _What_ is the problem?" demanded Akashi, sounding dangerous at having his absoluteness questioned.

Then he looked at Mayuzumi.

Still standing there in her bra and panties.

And he stared.

And stared.

The famous, absolute Akashi Seijuurou, struck dumb by the sight of a girl in her underwear. And one who he'd just ordered to strip down at that.

Mayuzumi would take her humor where she could get it.

Ha.

(Silent snark FTW)

* * *

(And everyone who was in the dark on the shadows being girls finds out when they see them in their underwear. Talk about a rude awakening)

(Reviews are appreciated!)


	2. You'll See Something Amazing

You'll see something amazing

* * *

"Kuroko-chan! You're here!" Takao broke away from Shuutoku's regulars as they crossed the court to sling an arm around Kuroko's shoulders.

"Takao-san. It has been awhile," said Kuroko politely.

"And Shin-chan! Look! Didn't I tell you Kuroko was a girl? Didn't I? I mean, look at these!" Takao suddenly slid behind Kuroko and grabbed her chest from underneath. The motion pulled Kuroko's shirt tight and pushed up her cleavage, even though it was constrained by a sports bra. This left no doubt as to what gender Kuroko was, to anyone watching.

"Takao!" cried out Midorima, horrified through his shock by what his teammate was doing.

"Hey! You! Stop sexually harassing my teammate!" shouted Kagami, looking ready to either grab Takao or punch her. Probably the only thing holding him back from punching her was the realization that she was also a girl.

"Wow, They've gotten bigger. Congratulations! You must be wearing C-Cups now!" said Takao, ignoring the boys and still holding onto Kuroko in that very provocative manner.

"Please let go of me, Takao-san," requested Kuroko. Remarkably, considering that another girl was grabbing her boobs, she sounded cool as a cucumber.

"I will as soon as Shin-chan acknowledges that you're a girl. You know he didn't believe me when I told him that you totally were a chick. Do you see now, Shin-chan? See? I mean, look at these! Just look at them!"

"That's enough! Get off her now!" Kagami grabbed both of Takao's wrists and forcibly pulled her hands off Kuroko's chest and pulled her away from Kuroko. If she'd been a guy, Kagami would have given her a rough shove. But she wasn't a guy, so she got off with a light push.

"You at least seem to know she's a girl. Good job. Seirin clearly has better anatomy classes than Teikou," said Takao, not at all disgruntled at being foiled then manhandled by Kagami.

Kuroko smoothed down her shirt, a light blush coloring her cheeks, but she didn't look away from Midorima's gaze. She met his eyes steadily.

"So it's true," Midorima said.

"Yes."

Midorima looked like he was nursing a migraine.

"Why did you lie?" he asked.

"I never lied. I just never corrected your misconceptions," said Kuroko.

"But why not?" demanded Midorima.

"Because it didn't matter. It wasn't against any tournament rules. I checked. And the fact that I was a girl did not in any way affect our win. So, by the philosophy we all believed in Teikou, it didn't matter," said Kuroko in that deadpan way of hers.

Suddenly a large hand was pressed down on her head, and with it a familiar warmth and weight.

"You don't owe him any explanations," said Kagami with his usual ill temper.

Midorima looked at him, unimpressed.

"And who are you supposed to be?"

Kagami stepped passed Kuroko and held out his left hand.

"A handshake?" Midorima looked momentarily taken back. Then he transferred his lucky item from his left hand into his right and politely, if stiffly, obliged the gesture he thought Kagami was offering.

Kagami gave a slightly malicious grin and penned his name and jersey number onto Midorima's palm.

Moments later, Midorima was squawking and Takao was laughing for a change.

Kagami smirked and put his hand back down on Kuroko's head, and started leading her back toward the rest of Seirin, where she would never doubt that she mattered.

(Takao spent the rest of the day teasing Midorima about having gotten another guy's number)

(The next day, she unrolled all Midorima's tape, wrote her name and number on it repeatedly, then rolled it back up. Midorima ended up with her name and number on his hand for a lot longer than he had Kagami's.)

(Reviews are appreciated!)


	3. Reverse Psychological Warfare

Reverse Psychological Warfare

* * *

Had Akashi been a bit older, he probably would have needed a stiff drink after his . . . lapse of absoluteness.

That Mayuzumi was in fact a girl was a surprise. He did not know how it had escaped his notice. It was obvious once he'd been shown. Her delicate jawline and the way her gym shirt settled around her torso, hinting at curves. Curves that he'd seen all too clearly only _after_ she removed her shirt. After he'd told her to.

That, he would admit, had not been one of his better moments.

The whole first sting, who'd all been present, were still in a bit of an uproar over that. His Crownless Kings were not handling it gracefully, to word it mildly. Nebuya had a coughing fit. Actually, he'd been alternating coughs with curses. And he'd refused to look at Mayuzumi even after she'd put her clothes back on. Hayama, excitable idiot that he was, seemed to have started hyperventilating and had to be taken to the nurse's office. And Mibuchi now seemed to want to be Mayuzumi's new best friend. Akashi wasn't sure why. He was ninety-five percent certain Mibuchi had no romantic interest in women. But he'd always thought it was just girls who wanted a gay best friend. Perhaps it worked both ways? Akashi couldn't say.

The whole thing was migraine-worthy.

It made him feel stupid. And there was no way to pretend that he'd known from the beginning that Mayuzumi was a girl, at least not one where he could save face, because he'd told her to strip in a locker room full of teenage boys and that was just plain bad.

She could have refused. It annoyed Akashi that she hadn't. She had to know or at least suspect that he mistook her for being male. Mayuzumi had taken off her clothes anyway, rather than announce it. Did she really think that was the lesser of the two embarrassments? No, of course not, Akashi realized. She intended to make a fool out of him. Probably as payback for him not being able to tell she was female.

It was exactly the kind of twisted, underhanded thing Akashi himself might have done in her situation. He found himself unable to hold it against her.

Damage control, for this situation, wouldn't be too bad. He would tell the truth, to any so-called figure of authority, and let them know that he hadn't known Mayuzumi was a girl. His family name would protect him from anything worse than having to explain himself.

So all that was left was figuring out how to use this latest development to his advantage.

Akashi knew this could be an excellent psychological weapon. Mayuzumi had just proven that revealing your gender to someone who'd mistaken you for a member of their own gender could have horrific consequences for those who'd made the mistake, and drive them to hysterics. He just needed to figure out how to harness this effect and turn it on their enemies on the court. Similarly, he was certain that he could evoke another reaction: rage. Certain narrow minded people tended to fly off the handle and act ridiculously and unreasonably when people of the opposite gender trespassed on what they deemed their realm. Those sorts of people tended to be meatheads, and Akashi knew they were bound to run into a lot of them in the basketball circuit. He could take advantage of that closeminded flaw in their personalities and trick them into defeating themselves. That would make Rakuzan mighty indeed. That would by psychological warefare at its finest.

Akashi's phone rang. He looked at it and saw that it was Midorima calling. Unexpected. He and Shintarou hadn't spoken since graduation.

He felt nostalgic at the thought. And an unreasonable longing tugged at him, almost like he wished he was the kind of person who had to worry that maybe he had a friend who'd heard about what transpired today and was calling to tease him about it. But there was no sound reason to want something like that. Besides, that hadn't been how his relationship with Midorima worked. And even if it was, there was no way Midorima could have heard about the incident so soon.

He answered his phone politely.

"Hello Shintarou. It's been awhile."

"Did you know she was a girl?" demanded Midorima instead of returning with a polite greeting of his own.

Akashi's jaw dropped. Then he closed it, and wondered how many times his absoluteness would be threatened today.

"Of course I did not know," he said tightly, wondering how he could ever have wanted a friend who'd call him up and throw his mistakes in his face.

"But you know now," surmised Midorima.

"Clearly. Seeing her strip down to her bra and underwear made her gender very clear," said Akashi.

_"What?!"_ Midorima sounded like he was about to rupture a minor organ.

Akashi found confusion stirring inside himself. Shouldn't Midorima know that had happened? Wasn't this why he'd called? To tease Akashi about his misstep?

"You saw Kuroko strip down to her bra and underwear? Akashi! What the actual hell?!" shouted Midorima into the phone.

_"What?!"_ Akashi returned.

This was wrong. So very wrong. This couldn't really be happening. Akashi was misunderstanding something, because from what Midorima just said it sounded like Kuroko was a girl.

"That is highly inappropriate, Akashi! You were in middle school! That is far too young for that kind of behavior! And I'll say this too: I'm disappointed in how you took advantage of her! You knew how little experience Kuroko had with people in general! We all did. Except maybe Kise, who is an airhead. Or Murasakibara who doesn't have a thought that doesn't have to deal with food in his head at all. Or Aomine who was just plain selfish. Well, maybe we didn't all know how inexperienced Kuroko was, but I know you certainly did! For you to coerce a young girl who's been that sheltered from people her entire life –"

"Are you trying to tell me that you believe Tetsuya is a girl?" demanded Akashi, cutting off Midorima's rant.

Midorima stopped talking and was silent for a moment.

"Are we talking about the same thing? Are you trying to say now that you didn't know Kuroko was a girl?"

"Tetsuya is not a girl!" said Akashi, feeling anger and frustration boiling up inside him.

"She is," said Midorima, calming drastically now that he was no longer under the impression that Akashi had taken advantage of their teammate and made her strip down to her bra and underwear for illicit or lewd reasons.

Of course, that didn't stop him from being wrong about Kuroko's gender.

"He is not!"

"Akashi. I swear to you. She is. I saw her today. In passing. But she . . . I saw that she had . . . she definitely . . ."

"Say what you intend to say, Shintarou, and stop stuttering like an idiot."

"She has . . . a woman's figure."

Akashi swore he could _hear_ Midorima's blush. And he was certain that Midorima believed what he was saying, but –

"I don't believe it."

"Do you think I would lie to you about something like this? Or do you think I'm joking? Have you ever known me to joke, Akashi?" Midorima asked harshly.

"I think you must be mistaken, Shintarou," said Akashi.

"There was no way to mistake it. One of my teammates – who is incidentally a girl as well, grabbed Kuroko. Under . . . under her arms. She pulled her shirt tight. And there was no mistaking it, Akashi. She had hips and . . . other curves."

Akashi felt like someone had jerked a carpet out from under him. That feeling of falling and uncertainty was overwhelming him.

"I wouldn't have believed it if someone had told me. Actually, someone did tell me. My female teammate. I didn't believe her until I saw it with my own eyes. You know I wouldn't joke about something like this," said Midorima.

And that was the crux of it. Akashi did know. Midorima had even less of a sense of humor than Kuroko. He wouldn't lie about something like this. He didn't joke around.

So Akashi was presented with two unbelievable scenarios. Either Midorima had spontaneously developed a sense of humor, or Kuroko was in fact a girl.

Honestly, he didn't know which was more improbable.

But he did know one thing for sure: screw legal age limits. Akashi needed a drink.

"Akashi? What, no _who_ did you think I was talking about at first? Who did you mistake for a boy until you saw her strip down to her bra and underwear?" asked Midorima.

Akashi took a deep breath then let it out.

"I'm hanging up now."

(Akashi tried to play the game. But the game played him, son. The game played him.)

(Pairings are still mostly undecided. Except in the case of Taka-Mido.)

(Reviews are appreciated)


	4. Just Be Friends

Just Be Friends

* * *

"Hey! Hey, hey! Do you think it's possible to be friends with a girl?" asked Hayama.

He, the other two Crownless Kings, and Akashi were all in the basketball club's clubroom during lunch. As were a couple of other people who weren't regulars and therefore didn't count. Every single one of them stared at Hayama with expressions that clearly said they thought he was an idiot.

"No. I'm fairly sure it's impossible, Kotarou. Now shut up, I'm eating," said Nebuya.

"Aw, Nebuya. I don't mean like being friends with girl-girls. I know that's impossible. I mean girls who, you know, you could be friends with," Hayama tried to explain but only ended up making the topic more confusing.

"The term 'girlfriend' exists for a reason," Mibuchi said with a sniff.

"I don't mean that kind of friends with a girl," Hayama said quickly.

"Yes, you do," Akashi stated.

Hayama stopped to consider.

"Alright. So maybe I do. But with this girl I'm fairly sure you'd have to start off just being, you know, regular friends. So, do you think it's possible?" he asked.

"There will be no fraternizing amongst members of this basketball team. Chihiro is off limits," said Akashi.

"I didn't mean Mayuzumi –"

"Yes, you did."

"Ok, so I did. So . . . what does fraternizing mean again?"

"Trying to hook up with someone. You're fraternizing with them, you're trying to get into their pants," Nebuya clarified.

"Did you have to phrase it like that?" asked Mibuchi.

"That's the dictionary definition!"

"I highly doubt that."

"But what do you mean I can't try hooking up with her? Not that I was planning to, not really. Or maybe I was. I don't know. But why, Akashi?" asked Hayama.

"Because that is what our coach has decided, in light of the locker room incident."

"Hey, that was all on you, not us! Why do I have to be penalized for that?" demanded Hayama.

Akashi turned a glare so intense on him that Hayama immediately backtracked.

"Er, not that it was completely your fault. It could have happened to anyone. Or something. But Akashi –"

"The situation is not up for debate."

"But –"

"No."

"You don't even know what I was going to ask!" Hayama complained.

"Doubtlessly something else about wanting to date Chihiro."

"No, I was going to ask if you thought it was possible to be friends with her!" said Hayama stubbornly.

Akashi regarded him like he had the intelligence of an insect for several seconds that stretched on before answering.

"Not for you, no."

* * *

(five minutes later, on the roof)

"Doesn't think I can be friends with a girl. I'll show him I can be friends with a girl! We're allowed to be friends with girls in the basketball club. Even if those girls are in the basketball club. Right? We have to be allowed to. We're allowed to be friends with _guys_ in the basketball club. It would be discrimination if we weren't allowed to be friends with girls in the basketball club. I think that would be one of those lawsuit things," Hayama muttered darkly as he stormed across the roof.

"Hey. Will you shut up?" asked a familiar disembodied voice.

"Ya! Oh! Mayuzumi! I didn't see you there," said Hayama, brightening once he spotted her.

Mayuzumi had a meager lunch set out beside her and a light novel on her lap. And, Hayama noticed, she was wearing pants. So naturally, he had to point this out.

"You're wearing pants!"

"I am," said Mayuzumi, not sounding very friendly. The attempt, so far, wasn't going great.

"But you're a girl."

"And girls can wear pants. They have been doing so for decades now. But no one ever accused you of being observant."

"But for our uniform girls wear skirts," Hayama protested.

"It's lunch time. Pants are more comfortable, so I changed into them before coming up here. I'll change back before my next class."

"Oh. Ok." Hayama tried to think of what else to say.

Mayuzumi looked at him with blank eyes then went back to reading her light novel.

"What are you reading?" asked Hayama.

She held the book up so that he could see the cover.

"Oh. Is it any good?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out."

"Oh. I don't read."

Mayuzumi ignored him. That didn't seem like a good sign. Then Hayama realized his slip.

"I can read! I just don't read much. But I do know how!"

"Good for you," said Mayuzumi tonelessly.

"But I don't actually remember the last time I read a book. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever read a book. I only pretended to for classes and just BS'ed my way through the quizzes about them," said Hayama.

"Impressive."

"Did you mean that sarcastically? I can't tell," said Hayama.

"Yes, I meant it sarcastically. I see nothing impressive about being ignorant, illiterate, or unobservant," said Mayuzumi. The look in her eyes had shifted from blank to cutting. It was pretty, but at the same time, like her words, kind of stung.

"I'm not illiterate. I just can't . . . I'm not good at sitting still. I _can't_ sit still and just stare at a piece of paper. Things stop making sense then everything starts buzzing and I feel like I'm going to explode!"

"I see." Mayuzumi's voice had changed suddenly. Hayama couldn't begin to decipher what her tone now meant, or what the look she was giving him meant. He didn't think it was pity. But it might have been something close. And she kind of looked like maybe she had just understood something, or so Hayama thought. So he decided to tell her.

"You look like you just understood something. What did you just understand?"

The look was gone, replaced by cool aloofness.

"You're imagining things."

Well that was possible. But there was something else worth noting.

"That's the best particular reaction I've ever gotten to telling someone why I can't do bookwork well. Usually people just tell me to stop being stupid, or that it's all in my head."

"My opinion of other peoples' intelligence has never been high," Mayuzumi deadpanned.

"You're including me in that, aren't you?" Hayama asked with a forced laugh.

"No."

Hayama stopped laughing and stared. When he didn't say anything for nearly ten seconds, Mayuzumi looked up from her book at him. Then, with a sigh, she explained.

"You're wired differently. That's not the same as being stupid."

Hayama kept staring at her.

"What?" she finally demanded.

"Nothing."

Mayuzumi gave him a look then returned to reading her light novel. But she glanced up after several seconds to see if he was still watching her. He was. So she scowled back down at the pages.

Hayama continued watching and trying to figure out just what this girl had done to him. What he was feeling right now wasn't like the buzzing that he always heard when he was forced to sit still, but it made him feel like he was out of control in a different way. Kind of like how he'd been when he saw her standing almost naked in the locker room. That had made his breathing go all out of whack and his heart start hammering uncontrollably. His heart was hammering uncontrollably now, come to think of it. But his breathing seemed ok. He wasn't going to hyperventilate, he didn't think.

"Hey, Mayuzumi-san? Er, Mayuzumi-senpai?"

"That sounds really weird coming from you. Just plain Mayuzumi's fine," she said. She didn't look up from her book this time.

"You seem pretty smart. So I was wondering -"

"I'm not smart enough to tutor anyone," Mayuzumi said.

"That's not what I was going to ask. I just wanted your opinion on something," Hayama said quickly.

Mayuzumi looked up and looked slightly curious.

"Do you think it's possible to be friends with a girl?"

(My theory is that Hayama's ADHD. Mayuzumi has just theorized this too.)

(Pairings are still undecided for Kuroko and Mayuzumi. But Hayama's falling hard for Mayuzumi. Thoughts on this pairing?)

(hint, hint, please review!)


	5. At the Okonomiyaki Restaurant

At the Okonomiyaki Restaurant

* * *

(For the purpose of maximum humor, Kise and Kasamatsu were at a table that can seat six when Seirin came in)

"Kise and Kasamatsu!" Kagami exclaimed at the sight of the two Kaijou players.

"No honorifics?!" demanded Kasamatsu, irritated at Kagami's lack of manners.

"Sup?" said Kise cheerfully.

One minute and one awkward seating arrangement later, Kuroko was seated beside Kise, and Kagami beside Kasamatsu.

Kuroko sat there with a neutral expression on her face and Kasamatsu calmly continued enjoying his okonomiyaki. Kagami, on the other hand, glared and Kise shifted uncomfortably.

"Why are we sitting together? And why were you covered in mud, Kagamicchi?" asked Kise.

"I fell. Forget about it. And don't call me Kagamicchi," growled Kagami.

Kasamatsu opened his eyes and looked at Kuroko, about to ask if Kagami was always this cheerful. But before he could open his mouth, he noticed something.

Kuroko's jacket was open. And the rain outside had soaked the shirt beneath it. The shirt was clinging to Kuroko's form. And that form was clearly not the form of a man. There were certain girl parts much more obvious now that they were hugged by the wet fabric.

So Kasamatsu's mouth opened after all and he stared at Kuroko in awe and horror until Kise noticed.

"Senpai? Is something the matter?"

Kasamatsu raised one shaking finger and pointed at Kuroko.

"Hm? Something about Kurokocchi?" Kise looked at Kuroko in concern. She just looked at him blankly.

"K-kise! Damn you! A million laps for you when we get back!" stammered Kasamatsu, tearing his gaze from Kuroko.

"Why? What did I do?"

"It's what you didn't do, stupid! You didn't tell us your old teammate was a girl! You didn't think that was worth mentioning?!"

"What? Kurokocchi's not a girl!"

Kagami started coughing, trying to hide his laughter. Kuroko looked at Kise with her blank expression.

"That's not very nice, Kise-kun."

"You're being mean to me too, Kurokocchi? I'm sticking up for you! I know you're not a girl," Kise pouted.

"I am a girl," admitted Kuroko.

"No, you're not."

"She is," said Kagami, with a smirk on his face.

"No, he's not!"

"Did you really not know? How stupid are you?" demanded Kasamatsu.

"Kurokocchi's not a girl!"

"She's got . . ." Kasamatsu made some expressive hand motions like he was trying to grab a pair of grapefruits.

"Got what? Boobs? No, he doesn't, look here!" Kise reached out with one hand intending to pat Kuroko's chest and emphasize how flat it was. But what he ended up touching was definitely not flat. The thing his hand landed on was round and soft, and bouncy.

Kise stared at Kuroko in disbelief.

"Uaaaaaah! Kurokocchi!" he wailed because that was his default for when he didn't know what else to do.

Suddenly he was hauled up by his collar as Kagami reached across the table and grabbed him.

"Keep your perverted hands off her or else," Kagami growled dangerously.

Kise's brain was still trying to catch up and process this information. Across from him, Kasamatsu appeared to be having some sort of fit.

"Excuse me. Could we get a table for two?" called out a familiar voice as the door slid open and in walked Takao and Midorima. Takao stopped talking as her eyes fell on the scene before her, and everyone else's eyes went to land on her and Midorima.

"Keh," laughed Takao in strained way.

Beside her, Midorima glared at them all.

"What are you doing here? And where's the rest of your team?" demanded Hyuuga.

"Eh heh, well, they left while Shin-chan was off crying –"

"Oi!"

"And then we decided we might as well get something to eat," finished Takao.

"Midorimacchi! Midorimacchi, did you know that Kurokocchi was a girl?" shouted Kise, flailing out of Kagami's grip.

Midorima gave Kise a look that would peel paint. Then he turned around and started back out the door.

"We're going somewhere else!"

"Oi!" protested Takao.

"Midorimacchi! You knew! _How could you not tell me?"_ wailed Kise at his back.

The door slid shut behind the two Shuutoku players and almost immediately it began raining cats and dogs outside. The door opened back up and the Shuutoku players stepped back in, now soaking wet.

Then Takao caught sight of Kasamatsu and a devious expression crossed her face.

"Ara? Are you Kaijou's Kasamatsu-san?" she asked, a smile spreading over her impish face.

Kasamatsu seemed taken back.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I saw you in Basketball Monthly! You're nationally famous as a strong point guard! Oh wow!" said Takao prancing over to their table excitedly, and as she got closer Kasamatsu seemed to have the same revelation about her as he did about Kuroko because his eyes grew as big as saucers and he started stammering.

If Takao noticed, and she most certainly did, she didn't give any sign of caring.

"As someone who plays the same position, I'd love to hear your stories! Do you mind if we join you? Kagami, gimme that seat! I want to sit beside Kasamatsu-san!" she said excitedly.

Kagami scowled and started to move to the one next to it, so she could sit next to Kasamatsu. Then he seemed to have a revelation of his own and quickly moved around the table, cutting off Midorima from sitting in the empty chair by Kuroko. Then he decided to take a leaf out of Takao's book and make Kuroko switch seats with him. But instead of asking, he just pulled her chair away from the table with her still sitting in it, and switched her chair with his empty chair, putting her at the end of the table.

"Hey! I was sitting next to Kurokocchi!" protested Kise.

"You were groping her! You think I'm going to let you keep sitting next to her?"

"You were groping Kuroko-chan? Geez, you Teikou boys are a bunch of pervs. Peeping at girls while they're changing. Groping them at the dinner table. What's next? Trying to take our clothes off on the basketball court?" huffed Takao.

"I didn't know she was a girl! How could I not know that? How could you never tell me, Kurokocchi?"

Kuroko ignored him and instead gave Midorima A Look.

"You were peeping at Takao-san as she was changing?"

The carrot head's face went tomato red.

"I-it was an accident! I didn't know she was a girl then and I walked in and –"

"Shouldn't you both have known they were girls without being told? What the hell did were they teaching you guys in Teikou's health classes? My middle school was nothing special, but at least we learned how to tell a guy from a girl," said Kagami.

"Seriously. Shin-chan still didn't believe Kuroko-chan was a girl until I showed him," agreed Takao.

"Showed him?! What?! Midorimacchi, did you see Kurokocchi –"

"No!" shouted Midorima.

No one there thought it was possible for his face to get any redder than it had been. They were all proven wrong.

"I realized she was a girl when Takao . . . grabbed her."

"For the record, the next one to grab my chest is going to get an ignite slap to the face," said Kuroko in her usual toneless way.

"Why wait? You should slap that annoying guy now," said Kagami.

"Yes! Slap him! Slap him!" encouraged Takao, ever the hypocrite.

"I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, Kurokocchi! Don't hate me!" Kise wailed.

"I don't hate Kise-kun."

"Kurokocchi!"

He tried to throw himself onto Kuroko, forgetting that Kagami was now between them. Kagami was not amused and shoved him back into his seat.

"I told Midorima-kun the reason that I never corrected your assumption that I was a boy. It's only fair to tell you now, Kise-kun. It was because my gender did not matter. Not according to any tournament rules or Teikou's philosophy. And so, since I realized there would be less fuss if I did not correct you when you all thought I was a boy, I let it go. Why don't we order some food? I'm hungry," said Kuroko, and she picked up a menu.

"Not a very smooth changing of subjects, but you get an A for effort," commented Takao.

"Kurokocchi, let me pay for your food!" requested Kise.

"All of Seirin is paying together from our club budget," declined Kuroko.

"Well let me pay for yours anyway! Since I grabbed you the way I did."

Kuroko looked at him with blank eyes.

"When you say it like that, you make it sound like I let you feel me up to be compensated with a meal."

"Shame on you, trying to trade food for sexual favors!" Takao waved a finger at Kise.

Beside her, Kasamatsu was shrinking against the wall, trying to keep as much distance between himself and the crazy girl as possible. Kise started spluttering and wailing about how that's not what he meant, that's not how he meant for it to sound. Kagami pushed Kuroko's chair a bit further away from the crazy blond and yelled at him to shut up. Midorima sat there, still blushing madly, and grinding his teeth. And the rest of Seirin watched on, feeling like they should have pop corn for this show.

* * *

Thankfully, for the sake of the sanity of half the people at the table, the topic of conversation turned to milder subjects as their food arrived and they began cooking and eating it. Midorima sniped a bit, still stinging from Shuutoku's loss. Kagami forsook talking for stuffing his face with egg okonomiyaki. Kise chattered at Kuroko, but not quite like he usually did in the past. There was a nervous quality to his voice now, like he wasn't sure how to deal with finding out his mentor, who in his delusions was his best friend, was in fact a girl. Speaking of other people who didn't know how to deal with girls, Kasamatsu was having a rough time. Takao tried to engage him in a conversation about being a point guard. But that didn't get too far. Kasamatsu stuttered so badly that it was impossible to tell what he was trying to say, assuming he was trying to say something and not just stuttering.

So eventually, Takao turned her attention to Kuroko, stealing Kuroko's attention from Kise.

"Are we still on for karaoke next week, Kuroko-chan?" she chirped.

The question garnered a lot of surprise from the other freshmen.

"Yes. As long as it's still alright with you, Takao-san," answered Kuroko.

"Of course!"

"You guys meet up outside school?" asked Kagami around a mouthful. Midorima seemed interested enough in the answer to this question that he didn't even chide Kagami for his bad manners, as he had every other time Kagami opened his mouth with food in it.

"Of course!" repeated Takao, dimpling at him.

"Occasionally," said Kuroko.

"We're friends! Aren't we Kuroko-chan?" sang Takao.

"Yes. Takao-san is the only girl I know who loves basketball and doesn't have a crush on me," said Kuroko.

"Huh?" asked Kagami.

Kise and Midorima both froze up.

"Oh no. Momoicchi isn't going to take this well, Kurokocchi!"

"Who?" asked Kagami.

"Our manager back in Teikou," answered Midorima.

"She was in love with Kurokocchi. But she, like the rest of us, she thought –"

"Actually, Momoi-san knows I'm a girl."

"W-w-what?!"

"Yes. Since the beginning," said Kuroko.

Kasamatsu started choking. Midorima's face turned red again. Kagami joined him in blushing this time. Kise could only stare. Then he noticed that Kasamatsu was still choking.

"S-senpai!"

Takao started pounding Kasamatsu on the back. But being in physical contact with a girl just made things worse for poor Kasamatsu. Trying to stop himself from choking while trying to get away from Takao at the same time, while he was wedging himself up against the wall was not an easy set of tasks. But fortunately, he managed to swallow the mouthful he'd choked on before he needed the heimlich.

"Subject change, you bratty freshman. _Now,"_ he ordered as soon as he could talk again.

Everyone stared at him. Then Kise hastened to obey.

"So . . . karaoke. You like karaoke, Kurokocchi? So do I! How did I not know you liked karaoke? We should go sometime! Just you and me. Like on a da –"

"Hey! Karaoke is _our_ thing! Kuroko-chan's and mine!" Takao cut him off angrily.

"It is our thing," Kuroko agreed.

"B-but –"

"Singing's been our favorite nonbasketball past time since you stupid boys completely failed to notice when –"

"They don't need to know about that, Takao-san."

Takao gave Kuroko a frown but stopped whatever she was about to say and just glared at Kise.

"It's our thing! And we're damned good at it, her and me!"

"We are damned good at it," agreed Kuroko in the most passionless voice anyone had ever cursed in.

"We came in second in a city-wide contest. I still think we should have gotten first because the chick who beat us was crap, but whatever. The point is, it's _our_ thing! And you're not invited!" said Takao, pointing an imperious finger at Kise.

"But that's not fair! I want to sing karaoke with Kurokocchi!" cried Kise, completely missing the unspoken nuances of that conversation.

The other two freshman at the table, however, did not. Midorima was frowning, obviously not happy about not knowing whatever it was Kuroko didn't think they needed to know about. Kagami was glaring for a change. And surprise, surprise, when the two happened to glance at each other, their expressions only got worse. But neither said anything about it, probably knowing that they wouldn't get an answer. Getting information out of Kuroko was difficult at the best of times. From Takao, it was normally easy. In fact, the usual problem there was getting too much information. But the way she had completely switched tracks after Kuroko's warning statement made it obvious that this wasn't something she would divulge without Kuroko's approval.

"Well maybe Kurokocchi and I can go do something else, sometime. Like go to the mall or to dinner –"

"No," Takao answered for Kuroko.

"I wasn't inviting you, I was inviting Kurokocchi!"

"You don't get to ask her on a date the same day you find out she's a girl by groping her, pervert! In fact, you don't get to ask her on a date at all_! I don't ship her with you!"_ declared Takao.

"I wasn't asking her on a date –"

"You totally were asking her on a date!"

"I just want to hang out with my Kurokocchi!" Kise protested.

Kagami's glare was growing worse and worse throughout this conversation. He wasn't even sure why he was getting so angry, he just knew he was. Probably just because Kise was so damn annoying.

"Kuroko's got basketball practice and no time for you! Leave her alone!" he growled.

Kasamatsu decided to weigh in too.

"And if you've got time to be asking out girls, you're obviously not practicing hard enough yourself! Triple training menu for you all this week!"

Kise looked at Kuroko with teary eyes.

"The world is against us, Kurokocchi!"

"No, Kise-kun. I think the world is only against you."

(Normally Takao would have given Kasamatsu more of a hard time. He was spared that because there were so many other fun targets at hand. But there's always next time.)

(Unfortunately for Aomine, no one gave him the memo about what's going to happen to the next person who grabs Kuroko's chest.)


	6. Touo vs Seirin

Touo vs. Seirin

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?!" roared Coach Harasawa, angrier than any of Touo's players had ever seen him before.

Susa elbowed Wakamatsu, who was still convulsing with laugher. Sakurai was cowering even though he hadn't been involved in the incident at all. Imayoshi looked like he couldn't decide whether to be angry or amused. Aomine stood in the center of the locker room, all eyes on him as he rubbed his swelling jaw and looking bewildered.

"You might have just cost us the game! If we are allowed to continue playing, consider yourselt benched! No, scratch that! You're not going to be on the bench or on the court. I want you out of this stadium and out of my sight! Right now I'm not so sure I even want you on my team anymore!" shouted Harasawa.

That snapped Aomine out of his daze.

"What?! Coach! It was an honest mistake!"

"I fail to see what part of that was honest or a mistake," drawled Imayoshi, glaring at Aomine, apparently deciding that he should be angry and side with the coach, at least while the coach was in the room.

"I didn't know he – she – Testu was – I didn't know, alright? And hey, you didn't either, did you? You had no clue!"

"I wasn't on a team with her for three years."

"Two," corrected Aomine.

"Oh, only two years ya spent thinkin' that little girl was actually a little boy. That's not so bad then."

"How could you not know? And how could you possibly think it was a good idea, once you found out, to grab her chest . . . in a stadium full of people? Hey, do you think this incident is going to get featured in Basketball Monthly?" laughed Wakamatsu. He was doubled over, shaking to suppress the laughter but it wasn't working well.

_"Enough!"_ snapped Harasawa with such ferocity that they all instantly shut up.

They stood in very uncomfortable silence for almost a full minute, their coach glaring at all of them but especially at Aomine.

"This is not something that can be taken lightly, either by the league or by our school. Perhaps your inflated ego and your disgustingly warped sense of self importance has made you think you're an exception to all of the rules, but let me assure you, Aomine, you are not. I have looked the other way when you bring inappropriate reading material to school, but apparently that was a mistake, if it makes you think you can take this next step and strip then molest girls on the middle of the basketball court –"

"Coach! I swear, I didn't know he – she was a girl! No one did, right Satsuki?" Aomine called to his friend.

"Aomine-kun really didn't know, Coach," said Momoi loyally, hugging her clipboard to her chest but looking annoyed.

"You'd think that he'd have realized after pulling off her shirt like that," muttered one of the guys from the bench.

"Tripled training menus for everyone for that stupid comment. You included, Aomine. Assuming the league doesn't call for your immediate removal from the team."

Aomine gaped silently.

Their coach glared at them all and let them stand there in uncomfortable silence for a little longer. Finally, he turned to Imayoshi.

"I'm going to see if the referees have reached a decision on how to proceed. It's entirely likely that Aomine's actions will have caused us to forfeit the match."

"But we were winning by a landslide!" protested another benchwarmer.

"Quadrupled training menus for everyone."

Everyone cringed and went silent.

"If we're lucky, we won't have to forfeit from the entire tournament. Keep them in line, Imayoshi. No laughing. And no killing him." With those words, Harasawa left the locker room.

The minute he was gone an evil smile split Imayoshi's face.

"I gotta say, Aomine. Seein' ya get your butt handed to ya by that little girl was about the greatest thing ever."

* * *

(flashback to ten minutes ago)

There were five minutes left in the game. The score difference between Touo and Seirin was growing and growing. Aomine was thoroughly enjoying stomping Tetsu's team into the ground. His victory was being made more enjoyable by the fact that Kagami was writhing over there on the bench, glaring daggers at him so helplessly. And by the fact that Tetsu seemed to be spending more time on the floor than on his feet now. The idiot still hadn't grown any stamina and just didn't know when to quit. He was soaked with sweat and pale, practically shaking. If that chick who was calling herself Seirin's coach had a single thought in her head, she'd bench Kuroko.

"Give up already. You've got nothing and this is just getting embarrassing," said Aomine the next time Kuroko tripped over nothing.

"I won't give up," said Kuroko, getting back up and wavering slightly, but managing to stay on his feet.

It was then that Aomine noticed it – the way Tetsu's jersey was clinging to him, particularly around his chest . . . It almost made it look like Kuroko had boobs. No, it did make him look like he had boobs. That shape, now that Aomine was looking, was unmistakable. But this wasn't possible. This was Tetsu.

"What the heck?" he asked, and without thinking, he grabbed the hem of Kuroko's jersey and pulled it up and over his head. Kuroko stumbled, arms tangling in the fabric, and actually deigned to sound surprised for once.

"Aomine-kun, what are you doing?"

By that time Aomine had succeeded in pulling the jersey off over her head. He stared at Kuroko's chest, and yes, those were definitely boobs being restrained by that cute blue sports bra. But that was impossible.

"Those aren't real, right? This is some kind of joke?" asked Aomine, and as Kuroko tried to snatch his, no her jersey back, Aomine grabbed one of her boobs and squeezed, expecting to find that it was fake or something. Not that he had previous experience touching a girl's boobs to compare it too, but he assumed he'd be able to tell if it was fake. But to his astonishment, it felt real. Soft and squishy-like.

Then a lot of things started happening at once. Someone was shouting in English, very angrily. Other people were shouting in Japanese, also angrily. A whistle was being blown. And a knee was being slammed into his groin. Kuroko's knee.

Aomine doubled over, putting his face within slapping range, and Kuroko's open palm hit him solidly in the jaw and dropped him to the floor.

"You perverted jackass!" shouted the Seirin point guard, and he threw himself at Aomine. Seirin's captain caught him and held him back, even though he looked like he'd like to beat on Aomine himself.

"Give her back her shirt _right now_ you shitty brat, or you're going to have a wild tiger chomping on your ass!" Hyuuga growled. Then he looked meaningfully at the Seirin bench.

Kagami was being held back, barely, by the freshman trio and Tsuchida. He was the one screaming in English, and even though Aomine couldn't understand his words, he could make an educated guess about their meaning. Nearby, Koganei was also being restrained by Mitobe, who looked like he'd rather let Koganei go and join him in pummeling Aomine.

"Give it back," said Kuroko, tugging at her jersey, which was still in Aomine's hand.

He let it slip through his fingers and instantly Kuroko snatched it and shoved it on over her head. She put it on backwards in her haste.

All around them, Touo's players stared.

"Aomine, what have you done?" asked Susa. Imayoshi for once, was at a loss for words. Wakamatsu was already laughing. Sakurai was staring at Kuroko as though spellbound.

Aomine ignored them all, and the referee who was coming over with Touo's and Seirin's coaches, both of them looking mad enough to spit fire. He stared at Kuroko whose blank expression was tinged with anger.

"You have boobs."

"Aomine-kun is a pervert and an idiot," said Kuroko, and turned her back to him.

"You're a girl!"

Kuroko walked back to her team's bench, where Kagami was still being held back by four people. He stopped struggling when Kuroko said something to him, and a moment later was released by his teammates. Aomine could see that in that moment, Kagami was considering making a break to try and run over and pummel him, but then Kuroko shivered and Kagami changed his mind. Instead, he shrugged off his jacket and wrapped it around Kuroko's slender shoulders. Throughout it all he never stopped glaring at Aomine.

* * *

(back in the Touo locker room)

"Did you really not know she was a girl?" asked Susa.

"No. None of us did. Right Satsuki?" Aomine called on his old friend to back him up.

"Ki-chan found out Tetsu-kun was a girl two weeks ago. Midorin's known for awhile," said Satsuki.

"See? None of us – wait. Those guys knew? And you knew they knew? Which means you . . . you knew?"

"Of course I knew! I've known since I met her!" said Momoi, her voice rising shrilly.

"But – but you had a crush on him! Er, I mean her."

"Not a crush. I was in love with her, and still am!" said Momoi defiantly.

"B-but . . . actually, that's really, really hot. OUCH!" Aomine winced as Momoi's clipboard made contact with his head. But it still didn't erase the images in his mind of Momoi and this new much more feminine Kuroko, pressed up against each other, legs entwined, clothes missing, and –

"Aomine-san, that's not the reaction you should give when a friend comes out to you," said Sakurai urgently.

"What? Oh. _Oh_. Um. Well. It's alright with me, Satsuki. Mainly because that would still be really, really hot and – OW woman!" This time it was some random person's gym bag Momoi had thrown at his face.

"Aomine-kun, you're an idiot! How could you do something like that? You pulled her shirt off and tried to feel her up in front of an entire stadium full of people! You humiliated her! That was just plain lewd, horrible behavior! _Wait until I tell your mother about this!"_

"Oi! Satsuki!"

"You know what? I don't care if we have to forfeit the game. This is the best day ever," said Wakamatsu, doubled over trying to hold in his laughter again.

"Shut up!" Momoi and Aomine snapped in unison at him.

"If you knew she was a girl, why didn't you tell me? Or the rest of the team?" demanded Aomine.

"Why didn't you figure out she was a girl on your own, stupid?!" returned Momoi.

"Ya really should have been able to figure it out, Aomine. That girl's not half bad when it comes to looks or figure. In fact, she's downright adorable," said Imayoshi.

Aomine felt himself starting to seethe without really knowing why.

"Shut the fuck up," he growled at his captain.

Imayoshi gave him a sadistic smile and licked his lips.

"I said shut up!" shouted Aomine right as the locker room door opened and in stepped Coach Harasawa.

The glare he gave Aomine would have peeled paint and shut him up right away.

"We are very, very lucky," the coach said.

"The referees aren't making us forfeit the game?" asked Imayoshi looking relieved.

"The referees were going to make us forfeit. Seirin refused to accept our forfeit. We'll be completing the game in ten minutes, after half of the Seirin regulars finish cooling their heads. They want to beat Aomine into a bloody pulp. I can't say I blame them."

"I didn't know," growled Aomine.

"Ya should have paid more attention in your middle school health class," said Imayoshi.

"Both of you shut up," snapped their coach.

They both shut up.

"Aomine, you're back in the game."

"What?" chorused half the team. They shut up on their own at Harasawa's look.

"That is Kuroko's own request. She probably wants to show that she won't be scared off, not even by crude behavior. If you say one word to her other than to apologize, you're off the team. After the match is over, don't bother changing. You'll be running back to Touo. If you don't feel like doing that, you're off the team. And you'll be attending practice for the next month. I think you can guess what will happen if you don't."

"I'm off the team," muttered Aomine.

"So, Seirin really turned down a win by forfeit?" asked Imayoshi a minute later, after their coach had taken several deep breaths.

"Kuroko and their coach made it clear they don't want a win that they don't deserve."

"Wow. Those girls have got more balls than half the guys on this team," said a particularly mouthy benchwarmer. The same one who'd gotten them all quadrupled training menus.

Harasawa's eyes were ice cold as they fell on him.

"Consider yourself second string now."

"What?! But I was complimenting them!"

"In a manner that is completely inappropriate, given the situation at hand!"

"But –"

"Shut up. We're going back to the stadium now. There is to be no gloating and no making stupid comments that could in any way be construed as harassment. Not if you want to stay in first string."

The mood of the Touo team was very somber as they filed out of the locker room and made their way back to the gymnasium. Everyone seemed to be avoiding Aomine like the plague.

Whatever. He didn't care. It wasn't like he liked any of them any way.

"Um, Aomine-san?" asked Sakurai very softly, when their coach was nowhere near.

"Huh? What, Ryou?"

"I'm sorry, I just had a question for you, if it's alright?" said Sakurai.

"What do you want?"

"So, I know you didn't know Kuroko-san was a girl, but do you know if she's like Momoi-san and likes girls?"

Aomine stared at him.

"I'm sorry, i-it doesn't matter if she does. I-I'd just like to know. A-and if she likes boys . . . do you know if she's seeing one right now?"

Aomine kept staring.

"I'm sorry. I'd just like to know if I have a chance at all. B-because she's so tiny and cute, and just my type."

And right then, Aomine really felt like punching Sakurai in the face.

(That could have gone worse.)


	7. Something Fishy

Something fishy

* * *

"Hmm. The chicken or the fish. That's the question. To be or not to be," mused Hayama.

"Shut up and pick one already! Stop holding up the line while people are starving!" growled Nebuya.

"You shut up! I'm quoting Shakespeare and deciding on my dinner!" snapped back Hayama.

"Really, when will the two of you grow up?" asked Mibuchi with a weary sigh.

Hayama ignored them and stared at the two protein options before him. The fish was mackerel, grilled lightly with sauce spread on after the cooking. The chicken was roasted western style and sprinkled with some seasoning or another.

It was a tough decision. Hayama bounced up and down on the spot trying to decide. The buzzing was bad today. It made it hard to remember what the food options were even when they were right in front of him. His concentration was horrible right now, so deciding anything was hard.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and picked up one of the fish plates, setting it down on his tray.

Hayama snarled and prepared to start shouting at Nebuya and Mibuchi that he could decide this shit for himself. But then he found himself staring into Mayuzumi's cool silver eyes.

"If you eat a lot of fish it should help with the buzzing," she said softly, then stepped past him with her own tray which, bizarrely, only had a salad on it.

Nebuya and Mibuchi watched in amazement as Hayama didn't freak out at the team shadow for choosing his meal for him, and instead trailed after her like a puppy.

"Hey! Are you really only eating a salad for dinner? No wonder you're skinny as a twig, that can't be healthy! Want to sit with me, Mayuzumi-senpai? Sit with our team! It'll be fun!"

"What the actual hell?" asked Nebuya.

"What did she mean 'help with the buzzing?'" Mibuchi wondered.

* * *

"Mayuzumi-senpai! It didn't work!" wailed Hayama, throwing himself at her feet. In the middle of the hallway. As people were trying to get to their first class.

"I asked you not to call me that," said Mayuzumi, wondering what she'd been thinking when she took Akashi Seijuurou up on his offer and opened the door into letting so many crazy people into her nice quiet life. Now she had a boy who was prettier than she was constantly trying to drag her shopping, another boy who kept trying to steal her bag and books and carry them for her to show off his stupidly oversized muscles, and a lapdog.

"But Mayuzumi-senpai is Mayuzumi-senpai," whined Hayama.

"It just sounds weird." No one had ever called her that before. She used to be able to go through an entire week without a single student addressing her. Once the only people who'd ever spoken her name were teachers taking roll. Now suddenly she had kouhai calling her Mayuzumi-senpai and it felt like they were talking to someone else.

"And what didn't work?" asked Mayuzumi, resigning herself to Hayama's weirdness.

"The fish! It didn't make the buzzing stop. Not for a minute last night. I actually tried to do homework thinking it might stop, but it didn't. It didn't work."

Mayuzumi nearly face palmed.

"Do you remember what I said to you when I gave you the fish, Hayama?" she asked.

"Eat a fish, it'll stop the buzzing."

"No, I said if you eat a lot of fish it should help."

Hayama jumped to his feet so fast he startled Mayuzumi into stepping back.

"So I should have eaten a double portion or a triple portion like Nebuya! You're so smart, Senpai –"

"That's not what I just said!" snapped Mayuzumi.

"Ya hah, it is."

"No, it's not. I meant that if you eat a lot of fish _over time_ it will help with the buzzing. Because the omega acids will build up in your body and those should hopefully help suppress the buzzing," said Mayuzumi.

Hayama stared at her blankly and Mayuzumi suddenly wondered why she even bothered looking up remedies for hyperactivity. But then Hayama was bouncing like a puppy.

"So all I have to do is eat double or triple portions of fish every day!"

"It doesn't have to be double or triple! Just try to eat it once a day and see if –"

"I'm going to get some now!" And Hayama was off.

Mayuzumi stared after him, raising her eyebrows as he jumped up onto the staircase railing and slip down it, balancing with the rail in the arches of his shoes. Then, with a shake of her head, she disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

(after two weeks of Hayama eating double or triple portions of fish once a day, every day)

"Mayuzumi-senpai! Mayuzumi-senpai! It worked!" shouted Hayama excitedly as he skid to a stop in front of Mayuzumi.

Mayuzumi stared at him in shock and then looked nervously around.

"What worked?" she finally asked.

"The fish thing! It's made the buzzing a whole lot less!" Hayama grabbed Mayuzumi's shoulders in his excitement. She stiffened.

"And get this! Just now, in class, I was able to read! My literature teacher, he called on me to read a page from our textbook, like he always does, because he's a dick and likes to see me look stupid and mess it up. He says he's trying to help me better myself, but I know he's totally just trying to humiliate me in front of everyone. And I've never been able to actually get through a paragraph of it before. But today I read the whole damn page! You should have seen his face! He looked like Akashi might if someone stomped on his shogi board! Ha! Serves that bastard right!"

"Hayama," said Mayuzumi to get his attention, as she removed his hands from her shoulders.

He looked at her, right in the eye, and it could have been her imagination, but it seemed like he was a little bit more there than he'd ever been before.

"Yes, Mayuzumi-senpai?"

"I'm in the middle of class. _You're_ in the middle of my class."

Hayama looked around and seemed to realize this.

"Oh. Hiiiiiiiiiiii . . ." he said and gave a little wave to all the people who were staring at them both.

Surprisingly enough, that didn't help.

(Hayama should have gone with jazz hands. That would have been more helpful.)

(And yes, as soon as he finished reading the page he ran right out of his class to go find Mayuzumi and tell her the news.)

(Reviews are appreciated)


	8. Down to the Wire

Down to the Wire

* * *

"Come on! Someone let us out already! Come on!" Takao pounded on the door and pitched her voice to hopefully carry far to the other side.

"I don't think there's anyone left to hear you. I think we're trapped," said Kimura dejectedly.

"Thanks for nothing, you shitty freshmen! Kimura, get me some pineapples! I wanna smash them over their heads!" shouted Miyaji.

"This is her fault, not mine!" Midorima protested.

Takao let her shoulders slump, for once not looking smug or annoyingly cheerful.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn't know."

The situation was this: the four of them were trapped in the basketball club's storage closet, quite possibly for the night. They'd gotten into this situation when Takao, unaware that the closet locked from the inside as well as outside, and couldn't be opened without a key, leapt onto the cart of basketballs that Midorima had been pushing into the storage closet, causing him to lose control of it. Somehow one of the wheels hit the door stop, and Midorima, unaware that the door would lock when it closed behind them, didn't try to catch it and keep it open, even though Miyaji and Kimura, both already inside the closet, putting away cones and other equipment, shouted at him to. No, Midorima instead chose to yell at Takao. The door clicked shut behind them, trapping them all in the closet. And so far their shouts for help had gone unanswered.

"I'll make it up to you guys when we get out of here. I promise."

The sight of Takao looking so dejected quickly changed Miyaji's tune.

"Hey, no, it's not that big of a deal, Takao," he said, scratching at the back of his head.

"It's a supreme annoyance, and it is that big of a deal," argued Midorima.

"It's not like this is the first time this has happened. Or the second, or the tenth. This happens to people at least three times a year. The doorknob should have been changed by now, so that we can't get locked in here anymore," said Kimura.

"I'm still sorry. I'll treat you guys to a meal when we get out of here. Whatever you want," said Takao.

"Don't be stupid. No self respecting man would allow a girl to pay for his dinner," snapped Midorima.

"That's a stupid, sexist, old-fashioned belief, Shin-chan. Or maybe that's your roundabout way of saying you want to eat my home cooking," remarked Takao.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Midorima's really the worst," commented Kimura disapprovingly.

"Trying to coerce girls into cooking for him. For shame," said Miyaji, shaking his head.

"That is not what I am doing! I never said anything about her cooking! That was all Takao!"

Midorima continued spluttering as Kimura and Miyaji kept teasing him. Takao rattled the door again, vainly hoping that it might open this time, but to no avail.

"I don't suppose anyone here knows how to pick locks?" she asked.

"There's nothing to pick it with. Otherwise I'd have tried already," said Kimura.

"You can pick locks?" Takao asked.

"Not well," admitted Kimura.

"He's an amateur. He can't crack a safe or anything, but he got me into my apartment once when I was locked out," said Miyaji.

"Too bad you're not the kind of girl who wears hairpins," said Kimura regretfully.

"And too bad there are no coat hangers or wires of any kind in here," added Miyaji.

Takao's eternally mischief filled eyes went up a notch on the scale of deviousness.

"Wire, you say?"

"Yeah. A thick enough piece of wire might work, if we had any," said Kimura.

"Which we don't," sighed Miyaji.

"All three of you, turn around," ordered Takao.

They looked at her with varying degrees of confusion. Then Midorima asked the million dollar question.

"Why?"

"Kimura-senpai needs wire. I can get him some. But you have to turn around," insisted Takao.

Understanding crossed Miyaji's face first and he turned his back to his kouhai. Then, seeing the others hadn't gotten it yet, grabbed Midorima and forcibly turned him around, knowing Kimura would turn on his own.

"I take it this is a girl thing? Takao's getting us the wire by doing some kind of girl thing?" asked Kimura, as he did as Takao had ordered.

"That's one way of putting it," said Takao. There was a rustle of fabric.

"I don't understand. What are you doing? It had better not be anything indecent!" said Midorima.

"Just keep your back turned," said Takao crossly.

"You _are_ doing something indecent! You do understand what would happen if someone were to open that door right now –"

"Yes, we'd get out of here without me ruining my bra."

"Your what?!"

"My bra!" shouted Takao.

"Takao, what the hell are you doing back there? What does your underwear have to do with anything?!" demanded Midorima.

"Clearly Midorima has never heard of under wires," muttered Miyaji, sounding a little embarrassed.

"Under what now?"

"Under wires! They're sewn into the bra to give it shape!" yelled Takao.

"Will you keep your voice down when you're shouting about obscene things?!" snapped Midorima.

"Why should I? It's not like there's anyone to hear them other than you guys. You just need one wire, Kimura-senpai?" Takao asked, changing the conversation very abruptly.

"Um. Yes. I should only need one," said Kimura.

"Almost got it. Hang on just a second."

The three Shuutoku boys stood with their backs to Takao, staring intently at the wall, and trying not to blush.

"Alright. I'm decent again. Here, Kimura-senpai."

Takao stepped in front of them and held out a long, piece of curved wire to Kimura. In her other hand, they noticed a balled up handful of lacy white fabric. It didn't take a genius to figure out what that was. Their eyes went automatically to Takao's chest, without any of the boys consciously thinking about it. Her gym shirt was loose, and made of thick cotton, so it wasn't too obvious, but –

"The wire, Kimura-senpai," said Takao, annoyance shading her voice as she thrust the piece of metal into Kimura's face. As soon as he took it, she crossed her arms over her chest and gave them A Look.

"Uh, thanks Takao," said Kimura, face flushed as he accepted the wire and went to start working on the lock.

"For the love of . . . why didn't you fully redress yourself?" demanded Midorima, pointedly turning away from Takao again.

"I did."

"I meant redress yourself wearing everything you had been wearing before you . . . you know what!"

"Maybe you just missed how I took out one of the supporting wires in my bra. If I tried to put it back on now, my boobs would be completely lopsided! You don't want my boobs to be lopsided, do you Shin-chan?" demanded Takao.

Midorima started spluttering.

Miyaji couldn't help it. He started laughing softly, but also averted his eyes from the topic of this conversation. Kimura concentrated on the lock, glad to have something to occupy his attention other than the thought of Takao's boobs. If it took him a little longer to spring the lock than it normally would have, at least Miyaji was the only one who knew. Finally, the door opened, and Kimura, cheeks still blushing, handed Takao back her wire.

"Thank you, Kimura-senpai."

"Thank you for, uh, you know. And sorry about you ruining your . . . uh . . ."

"My bra?" supplied Takao.

"Stop saying that word so shamelessly!" snapped Midorima.

"There's nothing wrong with the word 'bra!' All girls wear them you know! Ok, maybe not all girls, but most. Like at least ninety-eight percent of the ones at this school. And the ones who don't are the same ones who don't wear panties either, because they're complete sluts –"

"Takao! This is not appropriate!"

"I'm just calling it as I see it, Shin-chan."

"What's going on here?" asked Ootsubo, appearing from around the corner. Their captain took in all the blushing faces and quickly realized that he'd probably rather not know. But he'd already asked, and the question couldn't really be unasked.

"Not much. We got locked in the storage closet. Kimura picked the lock with one of my under wires and got us out. All the equipment's put away, so I'm going to change now, then I'm treating everyone to dinner, as an apology for locking them in. Do you want to come too, Captain? Shin-chan already promised he'd come," said Takao.

"I promised no such thing!"

"But you will come, won't you?" asked Takao, flitting to Midorima's side and tilting her head back to look up at him with big eyes.

"I already told you, so self respecting man would let a girl pay for his meal!"

"Not even if I give you this?" Takao had pressed her bra into the unsuspecting Midorima's hand before he realized what she was doing.

"Wah! You! Have you no shame?" Midorima tried to drop the bra, but the strap tangled around one of his fingers, so he ended up just dangling it from his hand.

"You don't want it?"

"Of course I don't want it! Why would I want it?!" shouted Midorima, balling it up again so it wasn't obvious what he was holding.

"In case it turns out to be a lucky item. You obviously don't already have one, since you didn't even know what under wires were," said Takao.

As Midorima spluttered, Ootsubo took the opportunity to decline the offer of dinner.

"I'm afraid I'll have to pass, Takao. But I hope you all have fun."

(For the record, Ootsubo did not flee. He merely left as quickly as he could do so and still retain his dignity.)

In the end, Midorima did come along, though he stubbornly insisted on paying for his own meal. And if Kimura or Mijayi noticed a scrap of lacy white fabric peaking out of Midorima's pocket, or the fact that Takao seemed a bit bouncier beneath her school uniform than usual during dinner, neither said anything. At least not to their kouhai.

"I want to change my bet to dating by the end of Winter Cup," Kimura said to Miyaji as they walked home that night after parting ways with the troublesome two.

"That soon? Kimura, you're grossly overestimating Midorima's ability to act intelligently. At this rate he'll be lucky if he realizes he's falling for her by the time they graduate," shot back Miyaji.

"He kept her bra, Miyaji."

"Only because it's very possible that Oha Asa might declare that it's a lucky item someday."

Kimura paused. Then sighed.

"Sadly, you're probably right."

(Takao usually wears a sports bra in practice, but by a lucky coincidence, she'd taken her gym clothes home the night before to wash, and forgot to bring her sports bra back.)

(Also by coincidence, the very next day, Cancer's lucky item was wire.)

(Reviews are appreciated!)


	9. Someone Worth Looking For

Someone Worth Looking For

(This chapter's just a friendship chapter, not romance this time.)

(Special thanks to palerosefire for answering my nagging PM and helping me figure out a way to character develop Mayuzumi into someone who is more of a teammate and less of an outsider.)

(Palerosefire is like the queen of KnB friendship fics, so if you like those, check out her works!)

* * *

"Move queer!"

That was all the warning Mibuchi got before someone's elbow dug into his kidney. He stumbled and would have fallen if he hadn't grabbed onto the lockers just in time. There were harsh laughs from the nearby boys, titters from the girls.

Mibuchi regained his balance with as much dignity as possible.

"I beg your pardon," he said politely. Because what else could he do? Insults would bounce off this clique like water. Angry words would be giving them exactly what they wanted. Breaking down and showing them his tears was not an option.

"Look at him. What a pansy," sneered a nasty boy who made fun of Mibuchi whenever Mibuchi's teammates weren't around, which thankfully wasn't often. Nebuya and Hayama might be gross and obnoxious, but since they'd realized what happened when they weren't around, they made it a point of sticking with him. And they'd done so so well that this was the first time in months someone had made fun of Mibuchi for his sexual orientation. Mibuchi had almost forgotten what it felt like. Almost, but not quite. You could never really forget this kind of sting.

If Mibuchi hadn't had a meeting with a teacher before homeroom, this wouldn't be happening now. He wouldn't have come so much earlier than Hayama and Nebuya. But there was no helping this now.

"Please excuse me," said Mibuchi, and tried to continue on his way to his homeroom, where Nebuya would soon be arriving, or where he might run into Hayama in the hallway, since Hayama's homeroom was halfway between Mibuchi's own homeroom and the stretch of hallway he was in now. He didn't think it would be so easy to get away, but one never knew.

"Hey, don't go. Stay and talk for awhile fag- ah!"

There was a loud clunk as the nasty boy's chin hit the floor.

Mibuchi spun around, expecting to see Nebuya there cracking his knuckles and flexing his muscles, or Hayama bouncing back and forth from foot to foot like a boxer. Those two were always far too quick with violence, and were impetuous to boot. Sometimes they annoyed Mibuchi to no end. But he could never hate them. Not when he knew they always, always had his back.

But to his surprise, there was no one behind the nasty boy, who was now picking himself up.

"Someone kicked me!"

"Dude, there's no one there," said his friend.

"I felt someone kick me!" The nasty boy picked up his bag, which had spilled open during his fall and started cramming textbooks back into it.

Then he froze and looked in it, then around him.

"What the fuck? Where's my binder?"

"It's not in your bag?" one of those tittering girls asked.

"I just looked in my bag! So no, it's obviously not there!" he snapped.

"Did you look really well?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure you brought it?" asked someone else.

"It has my history essay in it! That essay's worth a quarter of my grade this semester! Of course I brought it! I checked three times before I left the dorms to make sure I had it!"

Mibuchi couldn't bring himself to feel bad about the nasty boy's misfortune, and realized that he should be escaping instead of just standing here watching, while the nasty boy and his friends were distracted. So he turned again and hurried on, intent on getting to his homeroom as quickly as possible.

It was only by chance that a glint of silver caught his eye, and only practice that let him actually see what that glint of silver was. But his eyes fell on Mayuzumi, who stood nonchalantly trying to cram an overstuffed binder into a trashcan.

Something clicked and Mibuchi realized what had just happened. He felt his throat start knotting up as Mayuzumi pounded on the binder with one fist, using her other hand to force her weight down on top of it and push it through the trashcan's angled lid.

It took her several hits to get it through, but before long she succeeded. Then she calmly brushed off her hands and stooped to retrieve her bag where she'd set it at her feet. After that, she straightened and started walking again, not even bothering to look around to make sure no one had seen her, she was so confident that she would be overlooked.

Mibuchi trailed after her, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat.

Mayuzumi jumped a full foot in the air when Mibuchi put a hand on her shoulder, and jerked away from the contact. She turned, defiance settling in on her features and sparking in her eyes, but calmed down when she saw that it was only Mibuchi. Not someone who would have a problem with what she'd just done.

"Thank you," said Mibuchi softly.

"I didn't do anything," returned Mayuzumi, a little irritably. She wasn't trying to be modest, Mibuchi could tell. She just didn't want some emotional scene right here, or anywhere else, ever, if he was any judge of reading her.

Mibuchi knew Mayuzumi didn't like her teammates much. Objectively, he couldn't blame her. He, Hayama, and Nebuya had spent an entire year in the same club as her and never so much as said hello to her. They hadn't ever even realized she was there. Then Akashi came along and mistook her for a boy (along with the rest of them). Then they'd all learned she was a girl when they saw her in her underwear, after Akashi ordered her to strip down in the club room. And now she had more people than she knew how to handle invading her life, from Mibuchi's own attempt to befriend her (because where else was he going to find a female friend who loved basketball to go shopping with him?) to Hayama's pathetic and frankly embarrassing crush on her. He knew how it had to look to her, with them suddenly taking an interest after a year of seeing her every day but never seeing her at all. He didn't blame her for not liking them much.

Before Mibuchi could figure out how to respond, someone bumped into Mayuzumi, not realizing she was there. Mayuzumi stumbled backwards as a group cut between them. She was only out of Mibuchi's sight for a second. Or at least she should have only been out of his sight for a second. But when the crowd passed, she had vanished.

Mibuchi spun in a full circle looking for her, but she was really gone. He couldn't see her anywhere. Odd, considering she was quite tall, and her gray hair should have stood out. But then, he'd managed to miss her all this time in the basketball club, so it really wasn't that out of the ordinary.

The bell was going to ring soon. Mibuchi had the feeling that searching for her now would be a fruitless effort. He wouldn't have enough time to find her. But when it was time for lunch, he'd make an attempt. He'd grab Hayama, who had an uncanny knack for hunting the team shadow down (read that as stalkerish tendencies), and Nebuya who'd get pissy if they left him behind, and they'd drag Mayuzumi to lunch with the lot of them. Because now that he could finally see her, Mibuchi saw that she was someone worth looking for.

(Mayuzumi might not like them, but if you hurt them, she'll like you even less.)

(Reviews are appreciated.)


	10. What You Wanna Say

What You Wanna Say

Kise stared at the tablet screen, mesmerized. He didn't know why it had taken him so long to think of doing a search for that city wide karaoke contest Takao and Kuroko mentioned they'd placed second in. Right now he regretted every wasted second between then and now, now that he saw the glorious images that some saint had posted online.

Kurokocchi was so adorable it made him want to squeal!

In the picture Kise was ogling now, she was wearing the cutest little dress. Above the waist it was white and cut modestly, decorated around the neckline with lace. Below the waist, the skirt was pale blue. She wore a matching sweater, the exact same shade of blue, and a string of bright blue beads.

Midorima's girl, Takao, was no slouch either, Kise would readily admit. She wore a short black skirt, a white short sleeved shirt that looked like it was made of silk, and a tiny black vest. She capped off her ensemble with a sharp red fedora. Kurokocchi would always be first in Kise's heart, but he could see why Midorima liked Takao.

The two looked like idols. Especially holding microphones and singing into them with such pure joy. Moriyama-senpai apparently thought so too, looking over Kise's shoulder.

"Who are those visions and where can I see them in concert?" he asked, sounding entranced.

Kise felt a wave of irritation.

"They're not pop stars, Moriyama-senpai. That's Kurokocchi and her friend, at a karaoke contest," he said.

"Kuroko – you mean your former teammate? That's what she looks like when she's being a girl?" Moriyama, like the other Kaijou regulars, had been shocked to find out that the petite, blue haired boy they'd been playing against had actually been a petite blue haired girl. Kuroko, in her basketball uniform, hadn't made much of an impression on Moriyama in anything besides basketball, but now that he saw her actually looking like a girl, all dolled up for the karaoke competition, even wearing slight touches of makeup, he very obviously saw her appeal. Much to Kise's annoyance.

"Kise! That was horrible of you, keeping such an adorable female specimen hidden from your senpai! What sort of kouhai are you?!" demanded Moriyama.

"I already told you, I didn't know Kurokocchi was a girl!" whined Kise. The very thought still upset him. For two years, he'd been hanging out with the cutest, prettiest girl he'd ever seen, and _he'd never known_. So much time wasted! So many White Days missed! Ok, only two White Days were technically missed, and during one of them Kuroko had been hiding from them, but that wasn't the point!

At that thought, Kise nearly went into convulsions, as he remembered how Kuroko had treated them all to popsicles on the one Valentine's Day that Kise had been part of the Miracles, that they'd actually all been together. He felt a spike of horror at the realization that he'd never given her a return gift on White Day! Oh, what if her little heart had broken, not getting a return gift from her beloved only student?! Kise would have to correct that post haste!

"Well, now that you know she is a girl, do you know if she's seeing anyone? And if she is, what about her friend there? You have to introduce me to them, Kise," said Moriyama.

Kise glared at his senpai.

"Kurokocchi's not on the market! Very soon she's going to be dating me! And that other girl is dating Midorimacchi, and I won't help you steal his girlfriend, even if you are my senpai! Maybe I'd help Kasamatsu-senpai, but he didn't seem interested in Takao-chan."

Moriyama started pouting, telling Kise not to be greedy when he could have any girl he wanted, and to leave some for other guys. Kobori, half listening to their conversation, but only because it was so loud that he couldn't concentrate on his homework, looked over at them tiredly and noticed something on the tablet screen that Kise had failed to see.

"Are you going to click that video link and listen to them or not?" Kobori asked.

"Video link? Oh! Kobori-senpai is a genius!" said Kise, and immediately tapped on the link. The video recording of Kuroko's and Takao's second place performance began playing.

* * *

"Takao Kazunari and Kuroko Tetsuya, singing a mashup of 'Roar' and 'Brave,'" announced Takao, giving the judges a winning smile and tilting her hat at a jaunty angle.

"Takao-chan and Kuroko-chan. You two were last minute entries, weren't you?" asked one of the judges.

"Yep! We just decided to compete this morning!" said Takao.

"So you haven't had much time to practice, have you?" asked another judge.

"We've been practicing since this morning." Takao dimpled at them.

The judges looked bored, probably not expecting much from these last minute entries.

"Anyone you want to dedicate your performance today to?" one asked mechanically.

"Yes! I'm dedicating my half of the performance to Kuroko-chan," said Takao, slinging an arm around Kuroko's slender shoulders.

"And you, Kuroko-chan? Do you want to dedicate your performance to anyone?"

"Yes. But they'll never hear it. So there's no need to name them," said Kuroko, sounding equally mechanical.

"Well. Then, you may begin."

Kuroko disentangled herself from Takao as the music started playing. The two girls stood companionably close to one another. Then, to everyone's surprise, Kuroko began singing first. And the voice that came out of her mouth was far from the toneless one she'd used to speak to the judges.

_"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath, scared to rock the boat and make a mess. So I sat quietly. Agreed politely. I guess that I forgot I had a choice. I let you push me past the breaking point. I stood for nothing. So I fell for everything . . ."_ belted out Kuroko, suddenly looking and sounding like a completely different person.

Then Takao joined in, and the two sang in unison, harmonizing their voices.

_"You held me down, but I got up. Already brushing off the dust. You hear my voice, you hear that sound. Like thunder gonna shake the ground. You held me down, but I got up. Get ready cause I've had enough. I see it all, I see it now. I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire. 'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar! Louder, louder than a lion. 'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar!"_

Then Takao took over the song, turning so that she was angled toward Kuroko, like she was singing to her rather than the audience.

_"You can be amazing, you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug. You can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love. Or you can start speaking up. Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do, when they settle 'neath your skin. Kept on the inside, and no sunlight. Sometimes the shadow wins. But I wonder what would happen if you –"_

Then Kuroko cut in, taking over the song again.

_"You held me down, but I got up. Already brushing off the dust. You hear my voice, you hear that sound. Like thunder gonna shake the ground."_

Takao joined back in, her voice complimenting Kuroko's perfectly. Anyone watching would have a hard time believing that they'd only started practicing together this morning.

_"You held me down, but I got up. Get ready cause I've had enough. I see it all, I see it now."_

Then Kuroko dropped out for a line, giving Takao the lead again.

_"But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say. And let the words fall out. Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!"_

_"Louder, louder than a lion. 'Cause I am a champion, and you're gonna hear me roar!"_ Kuroko cut back in, and after that the two began harmonizing their voices again.

They sang overtop of each other, Takao sticking with "Brave" while Kuroko kept singing "Roar." The melodies matched up perfectly, making the song sound like it was always meant to be sung that way. And the singers both complimented each other perfectly, not just with their voices, but their on stage chemistry as well, at one point grabbing hands and spinning each other around in a half circle, so that they'd switched places. Takao put an elbow on Kuroko's shoulder and leaned against her playfully. Kuroko stole Takao's microphone and did some sort of sleight of hand trick with it, and seemingly made it vanish right there on the middle of the stage. The surprise and joy at the magic trick on Takao's face was completely spontaneous and unadulterated. That left them with just one microphone to share for the rest of the song, but if anything that only made their performance stronger. They turned to face each other, singing like they were challenging each other, into the same microphone.

* * *

"Wow," said Kobori after the video ended, amidst a storm of applause and whistling for the two girls.

"I'm in love," said Moriyama.

"No, no, no! I told you, Kurokocchi's mine!" whined Kise.

"I'll settle for the raven then," said Moriyama.

"Takao-chan is Midorimacchi's!" said Kise angrily.

"How amazing was the person who won first place to beat the two of them?" Kobori wondered.

"Does it matter? That person couldn't possibly have been cuter than them," said Moriyama.

"That's probably true," admitted Kobori.

"Not you too, Kobori-senpai! How many times must I say that Kurokocchi is mine?!" Kise wailed.

"No offense, but she doesn't have your name on her, kouhai," teased Moriyama.

At that, Kise snatched up his tablet and ran out of the room, shouting something indecipherable, but that was probably something along the lines about fixing that immediately.

"You don't think he's running to Seirin to go write his name on her, do you?" asked Moriyama, watching him go.

"I hope not. But I have the feeling that he's planning something of the sort," said Kobori.

"Poor guy. I don't think he has a clue," said Moriyama.

"Kuroko should have said who she was dedicating the song to after all, I guess," said Kobori.

"Do you really think that would have made a difference?" asked Moriyama, in one of those rare moments when he actually was being insightful rather than completely oblivious about human nature in general.

"Probably not," admitted Kobori after a moment of consideration.

If Kuroko had named the people who she was singing to, some of them (cough, Kise, cough) would have been too flattered and vain to see it for what it really was. But Kobori and Moriyama knew a declaration of war when they heard one, however sweet it sounded.

(As a matter of fact, Kise is on his way to Seirin.)

(Check back soon to see how that turns out)

(Reviews are appreciated.)

"Roar" and "Brave" and their lyrics belong to Katy Perry and Sara Bareilles respectively.


	11. What the Shuutoku Boys Think

What the Shuutoku Boys Think

(of having a girl on the team)

(I meant to write Kise crashing Seirin, but ended up writing this instead. I might do similar chapters for Seirin and Rakuzan if people like the concept of this one.)

* * *

Ootsubo wasn't thrilled by the idea of a girl on the team at first. Don't get him wrong, he was no sexist. He didn't think that the basketball court was no place for a girl. He just knew that having one in an otherwise all boy team would bring headaches and problems.

Takao, however, despite her mischievous nature, actually didn't cause a lot of problems. Especially not compared to the other freshman starter, who united the rest of the team in annoyance against him. Come to think of it, Takao seemed to be the one person who got along with him. Overlooking that awkward moment in which Midorima had somehow missed the fact that Takao was a girl until he walked in on her changing, those two seemed to know each other best. And yes, sometimes Ootsubo knew Takao deliberately winded Midorima up, but he was of the opinion that was good for Midorima. It was better than him being ignored by everyone for his stubbornness and arrogance, which was what would have often happened without Takao.

There were the inevitable complaints about her from the less talented players. Boys on the bench who were resentful that a girl got to be on the court, as a regular and starter no less. Idiots who thought that complaining to Ootsubo about it would do them any good. Ootsubo sent them away with a curt invitation to come back and complain to him again if they could find something valid about Takao to complain about, and no, her anatomy didn't count.

So she was a girl. So what? If she had the strength and skill to stand beside the other regulars on the court then she belonged there as much as any of them. That was Ootsubo's stance on Takao, and she never gave him a reason to change it.

* * *

Miyaji's initial reaction was to be annoyed. He'd spent the past two years working his ass off to get from second string, to the first string bench, and had now finally managed to become a regular. Where the hell did some chick get off just prancing in and making first string her first year, without investing any time into the team?

His initial reaction didn't last long, because something quickly became apparent. Takao had bucketfuls of natural talent, yes, but that alone wasn't what let her keep up with the guys. She worked as hard as any of them, harder than most. She didn't shirk at all. Not once did she shy from a drill or exercise, or shorten her reps on account of being a girl. In fact, it was easy to forget she was a girl during practice, she kept up with them so well and blended in with them seamlessly.

During every break, Miyaji saw her stretching, using her flexibility to lengthen her short stride. At school he saw her with wearable weights around her wrists and ankles as she flitted from class to class.

How could he be annoyed with someone who worked that hard for what she had? It made him feel like a giant hypocrite.

And once he got past his initial reaction, he started to like Takao a lot. Not _like_ like. He just whole-heartedly considered her a teammate. She was fun, and she was funny, particularly in the way she drove Midorima up the wall with her antics. She had a smart aleck comment for everything, it seemed, and always had a smile and a laugh for her teammates. And she always had a plan to make them laugh when they needed it.

One month into the season, Miyaji couldn't imagine the team without her, nor did he want to.

* * *

Unlike some of the others, it never bugged Kimura that Takao was a girl. It was a little weird having one on the team, yes, but he knew perfectly well that Coach Nakatani wouldn't have let her onto the team unless she was damn good. No one got a free ride on their team, and no one stood on the court unless they had what it took to be a king. Or he guessed, in Takao's case, a queen.

After Miyaji warmed up to the idea of a chick among them, Kimura got along well with Takao. Not that he hadn't before, it was just he always hung out with Miyaji, so when Miyaji had been avoiding her, Kimura kind of had too by default. But once Miyaji saw reason, they both gained an indispensible friend.

And yes, it helped that she was the one who dealt with Midorima so they didn't have to. That might have been what Kimura liked the most about her. Her dependability on the court followed closely after that.

No, if Kimura was honest with himself, the fact that she was such a genuine friend was what he liked best about Takao. She was just the kind of person who was genuinely a good friend, always laughing and raising spirits. Not to mention she had a lot of female friends at Shuutoku who by some weird default suddenly became Kimura's friends too. It was like he became popular overnight, because suddenly he was being greeted by girls every time he walked through the halls. He was the envy of all the other guys in his class. Miyaji and Ootsubo too.

In the end, Kimura couldn't think of a single way that Takao being a girl brought down their team. He could, however, think of several dozen ways she improved their team, some because she was a girl, but most just because she was an awesome person.

* * *

Midorima didn't know Takao was a girl at first, so unlike the others he didn't form his initial impression of her with that at its basis.

He still didn't like her in the beginning. He thought she was annoying and insufferable. She was always competing with him and hanging around him. She constantly talked to him and teased him, flitting around him like a hyperactive humming bird, getting in his way and annoying him, chattering about how absurd his lucky items were, and how green his hair was, and every other irrelevant thing under the sun.

But when she was around he wasn't alone. Midorima was well aware that without her he would have been alone most of the time, at school and practice. Not that he cared or anything. He didn't need anyone else. His basketball spoke for itself. He was strong and he needed no one. But that didn't mean it wasn't nice to have someone around once in awhile.

Once in awhile. Not all the damn time, though! And Takao was around him in practice all the damn time!

He was a little curious that he never saw Takao in school the first month at Shuutoku. Not that he looked for his fellow freshman during the school day. Much. But he thought they would have crossed paths a couple times, and Takao was hard to miss.

After he found out she was a girl, he realized that he had seen her plenty, he just hadn't recognized the short skirted, impish girl with her hair pulled in two very tiny twin tails as the sharp eyed point guard from his team's starting lineup.

After he found out she was a girl he was annoyed as hell. Girls had no place on a boy's team. Or at least that was what he wanted to think. But when she matched her play to his perfectly, getting the ball to him without fail, Midorima realized he couldn't make himself believe that. He couldn't even lie to himself and pretend he believed it.

He liked to be honest with himself at least, and the truth was that Takao was always right where he needed her to be. Always.

* * *

(Coach Nakatani imagined that if he ever had a daughter, she'd have turned out very much like Takao.)

(That was why he never had children.)


	12. Seirin Crashers

Seirin Crashers

* * *

"Kurokocchi! Kurokocchi, I'm here!" Kise announced, flying through the doors of Seirin's gym.

He expected to find Seirin hard at work, practicing drills. He did not expect practice to have already been halted, and all eyes to be on Kuroko and some other guy who was standing in front of her, holding a box out to her.

"Oh great. First the apologetic mushroom. Now the crybaby copycat," said the Seirin captain, looking extremely disgruntled.

Kagami had been standing behind Kuroko looking awkward and annoyed, but at seeing Kise, he just looked ticked off.

"Kise! What do you want?!" he demanded.

"I'm here for Kurokocchi, obviously! Who's this?" demanded Kise. Because the person in front of Kuroko wasn't anyone from Seirin's team. He knew that much. He did look familiar though. It took him a moment to place the guy.

"What is the shooting guard from Touo doing here?"

"Probably the same damn thing you are," said Izuki angrily.

Getting closer, Kise saw what was in the box. It appeared to be a homemade dessert bento. An adorable homemade dessert bento, with marshmallow chicks, and sweet mochi rabbits, sugar mice, white and dark chocolate sculpted pandas, and cream puff kittens. Damn it, it really was adorable. Kurokocchi with her weakness for cute things hadn't been able to take her eyes off it, not even to look up and see Kise.

Red lights went off in Kise's mind, warning him of danger and competition.

_"Kurokocchi, notice me!"_ Kise screamed and glomped the tiny girl.

"Get off her!" Kagami snapped, and immediately started trying to prise Kise off Kuroko. But Kise held on tight, refusing to be separated.

"Let go, Kagamicchi! Leave us alone! I came to see Kurokocchi!" whined Kise.

"I'm sorry, but I was here first!" said Touo's shooting guard, Sakurai Kise remembered now.

"No! I saw her first!" Kise argued.

"You didn't even know she was a girl until half a month ago!" protested Sakurai.

"And you didn't know she was a girl until you saw Aominecchi take her shirt off!" spat back Kise.

"Get off her, damn you Kise!" growled Kagami.

"I saw you gawking at her like a horn dog! And now you come here offering sweets, hoping to make amends! You're the worst!" Kise shouted at Sakurai.

"I w-wasn't gawking at her!" stuttered Sakurai.

"Oh yes you were! I saw it!"

"No you didn't! You were probably too caught up staring at her yourself!" yelled Sakurai.

"That's not true! Don't believe him, Kurokocchi!" Kise screamed.

"C-can't b-breathe," wheezed Kuroko.

Kise loosened his grip, which allowed Kagami to tear him off and throw him.

Sakurai seized the opportunity to go back to trying to put the moves on Kuroko.

"And so, like I was saying, on behalf of our team, I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am for Aomine-san's actions, Kuroko-san. I hope that you will enjoy these sweets. I made them myself for you. I did my best to make them cute. L-like you. Since you're cute," said Sakurai as he held the dessert bento out to Kuroko again.

Kuroko, who had begun staring wide eyed at the cute little creations again, blinked at the compliment.

"Kurokocchi! I brought you sweets too!" Kise was suddenly between her and Sakurai, holding a huge fancily wrapped box of expensive chocolates out to her.

"Why would you do that?" asked Kuroko. Anyone else would have probably looked bewildered, or at least a little unsettled. Kuroko might as well have been asking them about the weather, she remained blank as ever.

"Because I just realized today that I'd never given you anything on the two White Days that we've known each other!"

"I never gave you anything on Valentine's Day either," said Kuroko.

"Not true! You gave me a popsicle once on Valentine's Day, back in second year!" Kise reminded her.

Kuroko looked at him blankly then shook her head.

"I don't remember that. I think you made that up."

"No I didn't! How could you not remem – oh! Was it the heartbreak of not getting a return gift that made you forget? Post traumatic stress? I'm sorry, Kurokocchi! Forgive me!"

"I'm sorry, but I was here first, and I'm trying to give Kuroko-san –"

"Go away! We're having a moment!" snapped Kise.

"She doesn't want to have a moment with you, you go away!" Sakurai said, temper suddenly flaring up.

Everyone from Seirin did a double take at the sudden personality change.

"I think you're annoying her and you should leave!" finished Sakurai.

_"I'm_ annoying her? _You're_ the one from the enemy team that tried to molest her on the court!" shouted Kise.

"That was only Aomine who did that to her, and I apologized on his behalf!"

"So you're trying to take responsibility for Aominecchi's actions, huh? In that case, you need to drop to your knees and beg forgiveness, not just try to bribe your way into her good graces with candy!"

"That's not what I'm doing!" screamed Sakurai.

"That's exactly what you're doing!" shouted Kise.

"You think just because you're a model you have this in the bag? Well I won't lose to you!"

"What the hell is happening here?" wondered Hyuuga.

"I don't know, but I'll think of a title for it before I put it on YouTube," said Koganei.

The whole team looked at him to see that he was filming this on his phone. Well, the whole team except for Kagami who was storming toward the two other freshman in a fury.

"There's nothing to win or lose here! So you idiots get out! We're having practice!"

"I was her beloved only student back in Teikou!"

"Who didn't know she was a girl!"

"I know now, that's all that matters!"

"Get the fuck out!"

"That's not all that matters! Besides, I'm better than you!"

"What?! No, you're not! For that, I'm stealing all your moves if I ever play you, brat!"

"Are you idiots listening to me? Get out now or I will physically remove you!"

"Koganei-kun, turn that off," said Riko.

"But Coach!"

"We don't want footage of Kagami-kun murdering anyone getting put up on the internet."

* * *

In the end it did come to violence. Kagami grabbed Kise by his hair in one hand, Sakurai by his hair with the other, and smacked their heads together so hard both intruders saw stars. Then he dragged them to the door by their hair and threw them out. After that, he collected their candy and threw it after them.

Then he had to face Kuroko's sad look of reproach for destroying the adorable homemade dessert bento.

"You shouldn't eat things that weird people give you! You never know what they could have put in them!" he snapped, red-faced but not backing down.

"It was cute," said Kuroko, like she was making a valid point.

Kagami sighed and bent down to pick up Nigou who was happily slinking around their feet, then handed the little monster to Kuroko.

"I already let you have one cute thing. If you want any others, make sure they don't come with such annoying strings attached."

* * *

(Koganei posted the video on YouTube under the title "Seirin Crashers.")

(In real life, this is not up on YouTube. But it would be awesome if it was.)

(More people might crash Seirin in the future. Koganei could make a series that would end up as an internet phenomenon. Now that I think about it, I wonder what would happen if the Rakuzan team got addicted to that?)


	13. Snake in the Grass

Snake in the Grass

(Takes place during the Inter High playoffs)

* * *

"Well hello there."

Mayuzumi expertly hid her surprise behind a blank stare as the pretty boy with the too big of eyebrows gave her an oily smile. She gave a shallow bow.

"Hello."

The pretty boy looked her up and down in a way that was probably meant to be flattering, but that Mayuzumi felt was more predatorial. "I didn't know there was a girl's tournament going on right now too."

"There's not," said Mayuzumi, even though she knew that this guy already knew that. But apparently he didn't know that she knew he knew, because he kept up his charade.

"There's not? Oh. _Oh_. You're that really pretty girl I've heard about. The one who plays for Rakuzan."

Mayuzumi was insulted by this ridiculous empty flattery and wondered what on earth this stupid boy wanted from her.

"Well, the rumors said you were pretty. For once they were right."

If she was in a book, this was where she should blush and avert her eyes, stammering out a modest protest.

But this wasn't a book.

She kept her expression neutral as she returned this boy's compliment.

"Thank you. You're also very pretty."

There was a slight scrunching of his features that almost made Mayuzumi smirk. But then it was regrettably gone, hidden behind a mask of charm.

"I'm Hanamiya, by the way. Hanamiya Makoto. Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Mayuzumi wanted to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of his name. Flowery truth? As if. She had him pegged for a liar by the time he spoke his second sentence to her. If it had been an author who'd given him that name, Mayuzumi would have been rolling her eyes at what was clearly a pathetic attempt at irony, and making a note to write in her review how trite a device that was.

She briefly thought about lying. Giving him an alias instead of her real name. Almost immediately, she dismissed that thought. He obviously knew who she was, or had taken enough of an interest in her that he was going to find out. And when he uncovered her lie it would put him on guard and make him realize she wasn't the halfwit he seemed to believe. She had no doubts that he was playing her. That he wanted something from her. Her only advantage right now was that he didn't know that behind her deceptively mild eyes was a mind as sharp as broken glass.

"Mayuzumi Chihiro."

Hanamiya held out his hand for a handshake. She took it after only the slightest hesitation. Hopefully he would take that for a hesitation brought on by meekness rather than repulsion.

The locker room door opened behind her, where her teammates were changing, letting rowdy voices and the reek of sweat spill out. Those seemed to be a catalyst for Hanamiya, because they lit a spark in his eyes, and his smile grew a little crueler as he met the gaze of whoever had just stepped out behind Mayuzumi. His grip on her hand tightened a little. Then he raised Mayuzumi's hand to his lips, bowing over it slightly to kiss the back of her hand.

Mayuzumi's skin crawled.

"Hey!" two furious, familiar voices shouted behind her. Nebuya and, unsurprisingly, Hayama.

They swept forward on either side of Mayuzumi like vicious guard dogs. Delicate, long fingered hands took hold of Mayuzumi from behind and Mibuchi pulled her backward as Hayama yanked Hanamiya's hand away from hers, and Nebuya slammed him against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Mayuzumi asked mechanically, because that was what just about any script for her role would call for. Belatedly, she realized she should have added a bit of feeling into that. Some concern or bewilderment or something. Admittedly, she wasn't a good actress. There was a difference between acting and withholding information, and though her poker face was second to none, her deception skills needed polishing.

"Hey, hey, I was only saying hi," said Hanamiya as Nebuya grabbed a handful of his collar tight enough to choke him.

"You stay away from her," growled Nebuya, getting right up in his face.

"You keep your filthy spider hands off her," added Hayama fiercely.

"Eikichi! Kotarou! Stop that at once!"

The order from their captain made them falter, but for a hot second, Mayuzumi thought that they were going to disobey Akashi.

That, more than anything she'd read from Hanamiya's mannerisms, made her feel uncomfortable. What exactly had Hanamiya done that was so horrible that Nebuya and Hayama felt they had to defend her from so fervently that they would even consider going against Akashi? Just what kind of monster had taken an interest in her?

Well, at least she had the matter of _why_ he'd taken an interest in her answered. The look Hanamiya was giving Hayama, Nebuya, and Mibuchi was like he wanted to eat them, piece by piece, while they were still alive to feel and watch every agonizing second of it.

A fury that Mayuzumi didn't understand, and had never felt the likes of before began burning through her veins.

This boy, this _insect_, wanted to use her to get to the Crownless Kings. He thought that she was the key to hurting them. He wanted to make a fool of her, make her the weak link, the chink in the armor, that let him get to her teammates.

Mayuzumi hid her anger behind her best demure expression, and let her eyes widen to (hopefully) convey confusion. She even wrung her hands like she didn't know what was happening, hoping that would make her appear innocent and flustered.

But inside she _burned_. If Hanamiya persisted with this stupid plan of his, Mayuzumi would light this spider's web afire and _burn_ him alive in it.

(If Hanamiya's a spider, Mayuzumi's a snake in the grass)


	14. Tsundere Trying

Tsundere Trying

* * *

(Wednesday)

Something was wrong with Takao.

Not that Midorima cared or anything.

He just . . . well, noticed. She had been quieter in classes that day. Her smiles had been slower. No, actually, she hadn't smiled at all the entire day, at least not that Midorima saw. She hadn't even greeted him when they first saw each other that morning like she always did.

Then she was late to practice, when usually she was the first one out in the gym, even before all the boys, and her eyes had been red like she'd been crying.

Midorima tried to think of a way to broach the subject and find out what was wrong all during practice. Not because he was worried. No, it was because he was . . . annoyed. Yes, he'd go with that. Takao's melancholy could affect the rest of the team and that would be detrimental toward their success.

"Hey, Midorima, what's wrong with Takao?" asked Kimura in the locker room after practice, his concerned look proving Midorima's point. And yes, Midorima had failed to figure out a way to ask her despite trying to think of one the entire practice.

"How should I know?" asked Midorima.

"Obviously you shouldn't know. Kimura just mistook you for someone who'd care," snapped Miyaji, and he fixed Midorima with a look that cut right to his conscience.

"She was not forthcoming with details," huffed Midorima, and he looked away.

"And obviously you couldn't be bothered to ask," muttered Miyaji.

Midorima could have argued that he didn't know how to ask, and that he was still trying to come up with a way to, but that would have given people the wrong idea about his and Takao's relationship. They were colleagues, nothing more. Her problems were her own. As his problems were his own.

"Hopefully whatever is wrong will be cleared up by the time we leave for training camp next Monday," said Ootsubo, who was getting dressed nearby, and had overheard.

* * *

(Thursday)

The next day, Takao was no better. If anything, she seemed worse. Her eyes, usually so filled with mischief, were still empty, with dark circles beneath them. She was operating like she was on autopilot during the school day. Again, she didn't greet Midorima in the morning, and didn't smile at all.

He decided that enough was enough and tried to hunt her down at lunch time, deciding that the best course of action would be to demand that she tell him what was going on because it was affecting her performance at practice. But he couldn't find her. She was in none of her usual hangouts, which included their homeroom, the clubroom, the corner of the cafeteria where the prettiest and most popular freshman girls claimed two tables as their own, or the highest part of the roof.

Maybe that was for the best because her performance at practice that day would have made it obvious what he said was a lie. Takao might not have even cracked a smile, but she threw herself into basketball like she was playing for her life. Her passes were perfect, and every play she made was gold. Whatever was bothering her was clearly motivating her to get even better at basketball. Midorima would have almost thought that was a good thing, but he couldn't really approve of anything that changed Takao's personality like this.

Not because cared about her, of course. But because of the potential for a breakdown that could leave their team without a point guard. Yes, that sounded like a good excuse. Midorima would go with that one if pressed.

"Maybe she's just on her . . . you know," said one of the non regulars in the locker room.

Instantly Kimura, Miyaji, and Ootsubo fixed him with cold stares. Midorima looked at him in confusion.

"On her what?"

The non regular looked nervous at the question, since the three seniors were still glaring at him.

"Just . . . you know," he said, starting to sweat.

"No, I don't know, if I did I wouldn't have bothered asking. What exactly do you suspect is wrong with Takao? Tell me now!" he snapped despite himself. (Because this was getting rather wearying. Not because he was worried about her or anything.)

"I think she's just having her time of the month is all!" the non regular blurted out, avoiding eye contact with the seniors.

That didn't help.

"Put your gym clothes back on and go run thirty laps," ordered Ootsubo.

"But –"

"Sixty."

The nonregular put back on his gym shirt and fled without another word.

Which was good, because Midorima's knuckles were white from clenching his fist by then, and in another second or two, he might have lost control and punched that fool in his stupid face.

* * *

(Friday)

On the final day of school before the summer break started, and two days before the team left for their training camp on the following Monday, Takao seemed a little better. Her eyes were still red, and her smiles didn't quite meet them, but she did wish Midorima a good morning that day, and found it in her twisted little heart to be a little bit annoying during classes.

At lunch she was nowhere to be found again, but Midorima managed to corner her just before practice to get a word in private.

"Huh? This isn't like you, Shin-chan. You look almost worried," said Takao, smirking at him. It was a pretty good imitation of her usual smirk. But she had clearly been crying not too long ago, and Midorima wasn't fooled.

"Don't say ridiculous things," said Midorima angrily.

"That's like telling me not to say anything at all. So mean, Shin-chan!"

Midorima glared at her then looked away.

"I'll give you a ride home after practice."

"Huh?" Takao looked floored.

"You clearly haven't been feeling well this week. If your physical condition deteriorates, there will be problems during the training camp. In order for the camp to be most beneficial to us all, we need all the regulars there. So, I'll give you a ride home in the rickshaw after practice," said Midorima, hoping he wasn't blushing too badly.

"Aw, Shin-chan. You're sweet. I wish I could take you up on that offer. But I'm going home with a friend and staying over for the night tonight," said Takao.

Midorima tensed up.

"What?"

"We're having a girl's night. And she's meeting me here after practice, so unless you want to give both of us a ride to her house . . ."

"Are you sure you should be spending the night at a friend's and staying up late, when you haven't been feeling well lately?" asked Midorima sharply.

Takao gave him an indulgent smile – a real smile.

"Shin-chan. I'm touched that you're worried about me, but you know I haven't been sick this week."

Midorima turned his face away and took off his glasses to clean them.

"Be that as it may, stressing oneself out can cause a person to become physically ill. You should not tempt fate by wearing yourself out more," he said.

Takao didn't say anything. Midorima waited and waited, but finally he could wait no more. He put back on his glasses to see what sort of expression she was wearing. Then he was rewarded by one of Takao's usual brilliant smiles, which grew even wider when she took in his flustered expression.

He expected her to start teasing him then. Instead she just gave a jazz hand wave, fluttering her fingers playfully before turning away.

"We need to get ready for practice, Shin-chan. I'll see you there."

"Right," said Midorima, ignoring the uncomfortable thumping of his heart as he watched her go.

* * *

Takao was extra intense in practice again that day, but this time she was in better spirits, smiling and telling a few jokes. She wasn't completely back to normal, but she was clearly much better than she'd been the past two days.

"In the end we never did find out what was wrong with her," sighed Kimura as they left the school once practice was done.

"It would have been nice to be able to help her for a change," said Miyaji, looking slightly dejected.

"Why bother if it was something she was able to handle on her own?" asked Midorima, right before he ran into someone who'd been standing just outside the school's main gate.

"Ouch."

"Pardon me . . . Kuroko?!"

"Hello, Midorima-kun," said Kuroko.

Midorima wouldn't have recognized her if not for the fact that he'd run into her due to her lack of presence. She looked nothing like the little girl he'd thought had been a boy in middle school. Kuroko was dressed in Seirin's summer uniform now, its short pleated skirt showing off her smooth, slender legs, and she'd let her hair grow out, so it was a little longer than Takao's chin length hair now. Added to that was the fact that she'd . . . developed a little bit in the past year. Now that she wasn't in gym clothes, there was no mistaking that she had a woman's figure.

"Takao-san is not with you?" asked Kuroko, looking amongst Shuutoku's male regulars and failing to see her friend.

"No, she's either already left, or still changing. You're Kuroko? That girl from Seirin?" asked Miyaji, staring at Kuroko with bulging eyes, barely able to recognize her as well.

"Yes. I am Kuroko Tetsuya. It is nice to see you again." Polite as always, Kuroko gave a graceful little bow.

"Wait. Are you the friend Takao said she was going home with today?" asked Midorima as it clicked in his mind.

"Yes. Thank you for helping her so far this week. Please entrust her care to me for tonight," said Kuroko.

"Wait, do _you_ know what was wrong with her?" Kimura asked.

Kuroko looked confused.

"Do you not know? Did she not tell you?"

"She didn't say what was wrong. We didn't know whether to ask or let her have some space," admitted Ootsubo.

"Takao-san and her boyfriend of three years broke up on Tuesday night," said Kuroko.

The Shuutoku boys stared. Midorima felt like he'd just been hit with a taser.

"Takao has a _boyfriend?_ Or she _had_ a boyfriend?" amended Kimura, voicing what Midorima couldn't.

"Yes. For three years. Until last Tuesday," said Kuroko.

"Why did they break up?" asked Miyaji.

Kuroko's gaze flitted to Midorima, then away quickly.

"It was complicated," she said blankly.

"Then uncomplicated it," ordered Midorima.

"Takao-san punched him in the face."

"While that doesn't necessarily surprise me, it doesn't explain anything. Why did she punch him in the face?" growled Midorima.

"Because he tried to punch her in the face."

Midorima tensed, his fists clenching so hard that his knuckles instantly went white. Around him the other Shuutoku boys went on full alert as well.

"He missed because he was, in Takao-san's words, 'a pansy-assed tree hugger.' But he tried to punch her in the face because she slapped him in the face," said Kuroko, whose attempt at simplifying a situation was not very good at all.

"Why did she slap him?" asked Kimura.

"She slapped him for giving her an ultimatum if she wanted to keep being his girlfriend."

"And what was the ultimatum?" asked Ootsubo.

Kuroko was quiet for a moment.

"If Takao-san didn't tell you, maybe I should respect her decision not to," she said finally.

"I can respect you trying to be a friend to her. And for helping her you have my thanks, but she's a member of my team. If some punk attacked her, this is something I need to know as her captain as well as her friend. If some bastard is giving her ultimatums, I need to know," said Ootsubo.

"He's out of the picture now, permanently. Takao-san wouldn't date someone who would treat her as horribly as he did at the end."

"Kuroko. Tell us," said Midorima.

He took a deep breath when Kuroko looked at him blankly, and he could tell she wasn't swayed.

"Please."

Kuroko looked a little bit conflicted but then nodded.

"Her boyfriend had been on the same team as her in middle school, and quit after being beaten so badly by Teikou. He didn't like her being teammates with one of the Generation of Miracles. He told her to stop passing to you or else to quit the team, or he'd break up with her. So Takao-san slapped him."

Midorima felt like he'd just been drenched in ice water.

He remembered Takao's declaration to him about wanting to make him acknowledge her. But he hadn't thought that her loss to the Generation of Miracles back in middle school had affected her or her teammates so negatively. He tended to overlook how unique her cheerful outlook and ability to bounce back from anything were. The thought that not everyone could have recovered from such a crushing loss hadn't occurred to him – or that the loss might still be having negative effects on Takao's life.

For someone to use it against her now she had become his teammate, the very thought made Midorima's blood boil. Well, maybe part of that was the idea of someone like that dating Takao. Or _anyone_ dating Takao. They were freshmen in high school, too young to be dating, anyone who would try to underhandedly gain her affections at this age clearly had ill intent! How had he not known she was dating someone this whole time? It was almost as shocking as finding out that she was a girl all over again. Though all this paled in comparison to what this bastard had done to Takao, and what he'd tried to do.

How dare he raise a hand to her? How dare he try to hit her?

"Name and address," barked Midorima.

"What?"

"Give me this bastard's name and address."

"Yeah," agreed Miyaji.

"I'm going to have him arrested for assaulting a woman!" continued Midorima.

"What?" asked Kimura.

"No, idiot, we're going to go give him a talking to!" snapped Miyaji, cracking his knuckles.

"Get him arrested, what are you, a grumpy old man?" muttered Kimura.

"I would consider it a personal favor if you'd tell us this boy's name and address," said Ootsubo.

Kuroko tilted her head back to look up at Ootsubo, and whatever she saw in his face convinced her. She took out her phone and quickly sent a text. A second later, Midorima's phone chimed to signify it had received a text.

"I sent his name and address to Midorima-kun. Please don't get yourselves arrested."

"We won't. We're just going to make it perfectly clear to him why he is never going near Takao again," said Ootsubo firmly.

Midorima still would have rather gotten the bastard arrested. Or . . . no. He wouldn't think about things like that. Things that were illegal, and messy, and probably what Miyaji and Kimura had in mind, since they were still cracking their knuckles. Midorima was not like that, he most certainly did not want to crack anyone's skull open, or break all their fingers, or throw them into heavy traffic. Not at all. Besides, Ootsubo was the one in charge amongst them. He would abide by what the captain decided.

"Kuroko-chaaaaaan!" Takao suddenly came flying out of nowhere and gave Kuroko a glomp worthy of being delivered by Kise or Momoi.

"Hello Takao-san. Are you ready to go?"

"Yep! Yep!" sang Takao, linking her arm with Kuroko's.

Then she looked at her teammates who still all had varying degrees of fury on their faces.

"What's the matter? Did something happen?"

"No, nothing's wrong," said Kimura.

"Nothing that can't be fixed anyway," added Miyaji.

"Even Shin-chan looks like someone peed in his rice bowl. You can't be mad that I'm spending the night at Kuroko-chan's. We've been friends since middle school, and I've known her longer than any of you!"

"That's not it at all. We seniors just realized something we need to take care of before our training camp begins. Midorima's annoyed that we're dragging him along with us. That is all," said Ootsubo.

Takao glanced at Kuroko out of the corner of her eyes then chewed her lower lip.

"Is it something you need me for too? Kuroko-chan and I already made plans . . ."

"No, no, we seniors have got this. You two have fun at your pajama party," said Miyaji, and he reached down to ruffle Takao's hair.

"We'll see you Monday, Takao," said Ootsubo, giving her an indulgent smile.

Kimura patted her on the shoulder and waved as they departed. Midorima hung back for a moment.

"Shin-chan?" questioned Takao when he didn't immediately leave with the others.

There was a lot that Midorima wanted to say right then, but he couldn't manage to voice any of it. He also wanted . . . he wanted to touch her, like Miyaji had done so casually when he ruffled her hair, or Kimura when he passed her, but Midorima didn't know how to pull something like that off. Casual touch was never something he'd done, but . . . he realized with something like horror that was what he wanted to do now, to straighten her hair, brushing the stray strands out of her eyes, and maybe let one of his fingers graze her cheek accidentally as he did so and oh gods, what was this feeling and why wouldn't his heart stop pounding against his ribcage like it was trying to escape?

"Shin-chan?" Takao asked again, when he only stared down at her. She tilted her head to one side like a little bird and peered up at him with growing concern.

"On Monday, don't be late," said Midorima finally. Then he literally fled after his senpai.

(The title of this one's based off a book called _T-Rex Trying_, which is all these cartoons about a T-Rex trying to do things T-Rexes can't do on account of having ridiculously tiny arms. Like jumping rope or painting their house. It's pretty funny.)

(The Seirin/Shuutoku Training Camp will be starting soon)

(Please review!)


	15. The Perils of Packing

The Perils of Packing

* * *

Akashi's migraine was building as he entered the gym, where all the regulars and bench players had unpacked and spread out everything they were taking on their training trip and to the Interhigh quarter-finals. This was a tradition that had begun several years ago when some foolish individuals thought it would be a good idea to bring alcohol along on a training camp. Long before Akashi's reign. The players beneath him knew better than to try anything so stupid. Getting drunk and hung over while trying to follow a training regiment Akashi had devised could very well kill someone. Trying to slip something like that past him would result in torture for the individual and entire team when Akashi caught them. And he would catch them. Then everyone would hate that person when he was done with them. Akashi had appealed to Coach Shirogane to see reason and let them suspend the tradition, at least while he was captain. Unfortunately, that would have required permission from the school's board of directors, who'd made the decision and required this of all the sports teams, not just the basketball team. And the board of directors couldn't be reached on such short notice. So because of this and some former senpai's stupidity, Akashi was now going to have to look through all of his idiotic teammates' possessions and make sure no contraband was being brought along.

In a normal team, this would have been an annoyance. He was well aware of what sort of and how many stupid things the Uncrowned Kings alone were likely to bring. But in this team that contained a girl . . . Akashi was all too aware of what sort of things girls had to bring when going away from home for several weeks. He was not looking forward to this.

He paused for a moment before entering the gym, to steel his nerves against what he knew was to come. Then he stepped inside.

It was about as he expected. There were Mibuchi's things, all his clothes perfectly folded, everything spread out in a neat order, including what added up to nearly three gallons worth of hair and skin products. Nebuya was a bit more organized than Akashi would have predicted, but his choice of extra luggage was even more ludicrous than Akashi had thought it would be. The huge stack of body building and muscle developing magazines was expected, as were the five pounds of vitamins and supplements. The set of weights that he planned to take along with them, were not. Then Hayama's area looked like it had been hit with a whirlwind. The only thing he'd taken the time to fold was his uniform. He'd be wearing wrinkled clothing the entire rest of camp. Akashi debated informing him that women, particularly the one he wanted to impress, didn't care for guys whose appearances were so sloppy, but decided this wasn't his problem. If Hayama did manage to win Mayuzumi over before Winter Cup ended, Akashi would be forced to step in and put a stop to it. It was better if Hayama failed on his own. Akashi didn't even bother raising an eye at the skateboard Hayama saw fit to bring along. Or the 24 tins of canned fish. (He didn't want to know.)

He checked over all the other players' things next, and ended up confiscating about a dozen dirty magazines (since these muscle heads really seemed to think they could hide them inside textbooks and Akashi wouldn't be suspicious) and told one particularly stupid boy to leave and not bother coming back when he failed to provide any excuse for why he had a prescription bottle of muscle relaxers that had not been prescribed for him.

Then the moment he was dreading arrived: checking Mayuzumi's luggage.

She'd spread her things out away from the boys, as far from them as she could, and she'd clearly put some time and effort into trying not to embarrass herself. She'd folded and rolled her panties, then packed them in a zip-sealed bag, so that Akashi could see that the only thing in that bag were the rolled up undergarments, but could only imagine what they looked like when unfurled. Her bras had been packed with similar discretion.

Aside from several sets of gym clothes, and a few sets of street clothes, all neatly folded, Mayuzumi had also packed a small stack of novels that was actually quite reasonable for the length of trip they were going on (Akashi had half been expecting her to bring a whole book case full of them). There was a small selection of cosmetics, and one thing that confused him: a case of electronic equipment, which included several cell phones that had been opened up and not yet put back together.

"What are those for?" asked Akashi, curious despite himself.

"Just a project I'm working on," said Mayuzumi. Something malicious shone through her usual blank expression right then, and Akashi decided not to press further. He didn't really care what she was plotting as long as it didn't cause trouble for him, and Mayuzumi was stealthy and practical enough that whatever she was planning, he knew she wouldn't get caught.

Of greater importance was what was missing from her luggage.

"Chihiro, you are aware that we'll be gone for nearly three weeks, aren't you?" asked Akashi.

"I'm aware."

"There will not be many opportunities to discreetly purchase things you may have forgotten . . . or deliberately left out of your bag," said Akashi. (For the record, he was not blushing.) (Really! He wasn't!)

"I don't believe I've forgotten anything," Mayuzumi said calmly.

Akashi stared at her, trying to convey his disapproval with his gaze. Was she really going to make him say it?

"There is something I would have expected to find here, which I do not see, Chihiro. I know you know what I'm talking about," he said tensely.

Mayuzumi blinked at him. Then she blinked again. Then she pointed toward her pile of cosmetics.

"I'm not talking about night cream," Akashi snapped.

"I'm not pointing at the night cream," said Mayuzumi, her cheeks going a little bit pink. She knelt down by her things and pointed very deliberately, so there could be no mistake, at the dark blue compact.

"I'm not talking about powder either, Chihiro."

Mayuzumi closed her eyes.

"I take it you don't watch too much TV. Or at least not commercials."

"What does that have to do with this?" demanded Akashi, starting to lose his patience.

"This compact doesn't hold powder, Akashi."

Akashi reached down to pick up the compact, but Mayuzumi slapped her hand down on top of it and wouldn't let him touch it.

"Chihiro," he said in a warning voice.

"You are not lifting that up and showing it to everyone, dammit Akashi," she said around clenched teeth.

"Why? What's in there, Chihiro?" demanded Akashi.

Mayuzumi glared at him, then, keeping the compact on the ground, where it was shielded from their increasingly interested audience, hit the tab to pop it open.

Akashi stared in confusion, trying to make sense of it.

"Pills?"

That's what this was about?

"I presume you have a prescription for those?"

"Of course I do," growled Mayuzumi.

"And what are they for?" asked Akashi.

Mayuzumi looked away, muttering.

"What?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Chihiro, either tell me what these are right now, or I'm going to have to report these pills to Coach Shirogane," said Akashi flatly.

"I'm almost tempted to let you, given how screwed up the aftermath would be. If it wouldn't be humiliating for me too, I think I'd let you," said Mayuzumi.

It was then that Akashi figured it out. Right before Mayuzumi hissed the answer at him.

"They're birth control pills, alright?"

This . . . was not what Akashi had been expecting. But he decisively did not let his jaw drop open like he was trying to catch flies and gape at Mayuzumi in shock and horror. Not even a little. Really.

"You – you use – you have –"

"No!" snapped Mayuzumi. Then she realized how loudly she'd spoken and glared over her shoulder to where all the boys on the team other than Akashi were keeping a respectful (terrified) distance.

Akashi couldn't be bothered to care about them at that moment.

"Then why?"

"Why don't you know this already, damn you? What happened to being absolute? I'm not taking them because I'm sleeping with anyone. I take them for regularity."

"Regularity?" asked Akashi, bewildered.

Mayuzumi face palmed.

"So that rather than going on the rag twelve times a year, I only have to four times a year, and I know when those are going to be! Now can we move on, or do you want me to draw you a fucking chart?"

Akashi was again reduced to blinking at the sole female on the team.

"Are you sure that's healthy, Chihiro?" was what he finally asked when he was able to speak again.

"I am not having this conversation with you. Ever."

"Oh. Right. Well. It appears your luggage is . . . fine. Please leave everything out for Coach Shiroganei to make the final check," said Akashi, deciding that now was the time to retreat. He didn't want this to turn into a situation to rival the locker room incident. No, he actually didn't really want anyone else finding out about this. If what Mayuzumi said about those pills and what they could do was true then she certainly had a valid reason for taking them, but Akashi knew not everyone would believe that was why she took them. Infuriating though she could be, Akashi did not want to see her reputation tainted. He didn't have time to go around causing the ruination of anyone who might slight her. Nor did he feel like doing damage control for whatever Hayama and Nebuya would do to them. No, he didn't even want to think about that.

Now he could understand the temptation of bringing alcohol along on a trip like this.

(Akashi is starting to suspect that Mayuzumi has a master plan of making everyone's hair go gray like her own.)

(It's working.)

(And guess whose crashing Shuutoku's crashing of Seirin's training camp?)


	16. Training Camp of Doom

Training Camp of Doom

* * *

Kagami spit a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, then straightened up and nearly choked in surprise. It was a good thing he'd just spit out all the toothpaste or he definitely would have made a mess of it when he saw that Kuroko had materialized out of nowhere as she was wont to do.

His heart skipped a couple beats as his mind tried to catch up.

She . . . looked adorable. Standing there in really, really short pajama shorts, and a white camisole that was laced up in front with a light blue ribbon, tied in a neat little bow. Her hair was hopelessly messy from sleep, but that somehow made her look even cuter. She looked at Kagami blankly as he tried to stop gawking.

"You're doing that on purpose!" he shouted to cover his rude staring.

"Good morning."

"And look at your hair!"

As Kuroko blankly touched her hair and tried to pat it down a bit, a familiar voice began complaining in the hallway connected to the sinks.

"This place is such a dump. Do we really have to stay here? I feel like I'm going to see a ghost . . ."

"Oh," said Kuroko softly, recognition on her face.

Kagami was pretty sure he recognized that voice too, except this shouldn't have been possible. This was way too big of a coincidence.

But then Midorima and Takao came into view, in their unmistakably ugly orange Shuutoku getup.

"Shut up, Takao," Midorima verbally abused his shadow, as usual. They had nearly walked right past Kuroko and Kagami without seeing them. But then Takao's sharp eyes picked them up and she started and looked back over her shoulder.

"What?" she asked in surprise, her eyes going wide.

Kagami made an annoyed noise, and Midorima gave a surprised growl at the sight of them.

Only Kuroko seemed unaffected by this surprise meeting.

"Hello. It's good to see you again," she said politely, as though she wasn't standing there barefoot and in her pajamas.

Midorima went off. He pointed one bandaged finger at the two of them and began shouting.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Kagami growled right back.

"Shuutoku has a long history of coming here for training camps," Takao informed them with a pretty, but devious smile, like she was thoroughly enjoying this.

"And here you are enjoying your vacation! What's with that tan?" accused Midorima still pointing at Kagami.

"We're not here on vacation, idiot!"

"Indeed. Seirin's basketball club is having their summer training camp here. As is Rakuzan," said another voice that was familiar to Kuroko, but that definitely did not belong in this situation.

Everyone turned in surprise to face the newcomers. Midorima and Takao gaped. Kagami took on a suspicious look at the five basketball players in Rakuzan training outfits, who'd somehow come up behind them unnoticed. Only Kuroko looked unaffected, despite being dressed in her pajamas in front of so many strangers.

Akashi's two-colored eyes zeroed in on Kuroko, like he was sizing her up.

"So, it is true," he said finally.

"What's true?" asked a hulking, darkly tanned and overly muscled boy who most of those assembled recognized as Nebuya Eikichi.

"It's true that none of the Generation of Miracles knew Kuroko-chan was a girl," Takao informed him, earning herself a livid glare from Akashi. She immediately jumped behind Midorima to hide.

"Who's Kuroko?" asked Hayama.

"I'm Kuroko," Kuroko introduced herself.

"Wah! Wha? When did you get there?"

"Since the beginning," said Kuroko.

"And Akashi didn't know you were a girl? With that figure? There's no way that's true! Right, Akashi? Right?" asked Hayama.

Silence.

"Sei-chan? That's not true, is it?" asked Mibuchi.

"It is! Can you believe it?" asked Takao, peeking out from behind Midorima.

"No! I can't believe Akashi would make the same mistake twice! At least tell me he didn't make her strip in front of the whole team like he did with Mayuzumi-senpai!" said Hayama.

"What?!" Midorima barked, looking scandalized.

"Shut up, Kotarou!" snapped Akashi.

"Wait, so it was one of your new teammates who you realized was a girl only after seeing her strip down to her bra and underwear? That's what you were talking about that day on the phone?" demanded Midorima.

"Hey!" came a shout from behind them.

Everyone turned to see who'd called out. Then everyone's eyes grew wide with alarm as Riko appeared, splattered with red, and holding a huge kitchen knife, looking like she'd stepped right out of a horror movie.

"What's all this ruckus? Kagami-kun, Kuroko-chan, we're waiting for you in the cafeteria," said Riko, fixing them with a glare while everyone stared in shock and terror.

Then she tripped and the knife went flying out of her hand and right at Akashi's head.

Akashi instinctively dodged, getting out of the knife's trajectory as fast as he could. He had, however, forgotten how hard Kuroko was to see if you weren't deliberately trying to see her, and ended up colliding with her in his haste. They both went off balance and went down hard. Well, Kuroko went down hard. Akashi landed on top of her, unintentionally using her to cushion his fall. His face landed against something particularly soft.

"Akashi-kun," Kuroko said, her deadpan voice holding a frosty note, then Akashi's cheeks went as red as his hair as he realized just how they'd landed. His face was pillowed against Kuroko's breasts.

He rocketed off her as fast as he could, failing to notice that the zipper of his jacket had gotten caught on the ribbon of Kuroko's camisole. A ripping noise filled the air as he scrambled backwards and landed on his rear. Kuroko gave a slight squeal and grasped at her shirt, holding it together to keep from revealing too much.

"Sei-chan! What have you done?!" wailed Mibuchi.

"I didn't mean – that was unintentional! And it wasn't my fault!" said Akashi.

"Tee-hee. I slipped," said Riko, trying to cover for the knife incident.

"Don't 'tee-hee' me! Don't walk around with a knife! And you! Keep your hands off Kuroko! And your face off her too!" shouted Kagami, pointing at Akashi and looking halfway ready to beat the crap out of him. Probably the only thing stopping him was the realization that it was indeed an accident, and not a deliberate attempt at molestation like Aomine's had been.

"You're a pervert. All you Teikou boys are perverts, even if you can't tell the difference between a guy and a girl. Kuroko-chan, you're lucky you've got such a scary coach to protect you now. Look, she even took something out!" said Takao, looking overjoyed at the way things were turning out. She pointed at the knife, where it was sunk into the wall, pinning a dead cockroach in place.

"She must be a skilled assassin," Midorima said apprehensively, backing slowly away from the crazy people.

"Hey Akashi. Is your absoluteness okay?" asked Mayuzumi, speaking for the first time.

Reactions of those who knew Akashi were quite comical. Midorima snapped his head toward the silver haired girl in horror. Then he grabbed Takao and pulled her back, away from the older girl and Akashi as though fearful of an explosion. Rakuzan's three Crownless Kings all froze like deer in the headlights, their expressions giving away their terror. Even Kuroko's jaw dropped open like she couldn't believe anyone would really ask Akashi that.

"So, who are all these people? I recognize Shuutoku, but . . ." Riko looked bewildered at their reactions.

Akashi, with as much dignity as he could muster, blatantly ignored Mayuzumi's remark and reached down a hand to Kuroko. She took it automatically, and allowed Akashi to help her to her feet and steady her, like a perfect gentleman – if he could really be seen as a perfect gentleman after that mishap. Especially when Kuroko still had to use one hand to hold her shirt together to keep from flashing everyone.

"I apologize for my rudeness, Tetsuya. I assure you, it was unintentional," said Akashi, and he gave her a bow in apology.

"Please forget about it. Immediately," said Kuroko, retreating a few steps to stand at Kagami's elbow – an action which was taken note of by Akashi if the slight narrowing of his eyes was any indication.

His eyes narrowed further when Kagami clamped a hand down on Kuroko's head and steered her behind him.

"Come on. You need to change. Then, breakfast," he said, returning Akashi's cold stare in equal measure.

"Is that another one of your former teammates, Kuroko-chan?" asked Riko as they began walking toward the room she and Kuroko were sharing.

"Yes. Akashi-kun was the captain of the Generation of Miracles," answered Kuroko.

"And Kagami didn't challenge him on the spot?" teased Riko lightly.

_I wouldn't be so sure about that,_ thought Akashi as he watched them go. There had been a definite challenge in Kagami's expression. One that had nothing to do with basketball.

"Hey, hey, Akashi-kun," said Takao, trying to get his attention, even though Midorima was doing his utmost to drag her away.

"Yes, Takao-san?"

"Takao, shut up," said Midorima still trying to pull her back.

"I just want you to know, that _I don't ship her with you either!"_ Takao shrilly declared, right before Midorima clamped a hand over her mouth and began physically dragging her away as she dug her heels into the ground.

"We'll be taking our leave now, Akashi. Excuse us," said Midorima, then he quickly manhandled his squirming shadow away from the Rakuzan team.

"Oh, wow. Now I know why you insisted on having a joint camp with Seirin and Shuutoku! This is going to be so much fun!" said Hayama, bouncing in excitement.

"Right. Fun," said Akashi. (No one needed to know if he was having doubts about what he'd gotten himself into.)

(But then, Akashi never was one to back down from a challenge.)

* * *

(Omake)

"Hey, Nebuya! Reo-nee! Did you see? Did you?" demanded Hayama.

"Did we see what? That Kuroko chick's boobs? Unfortunately, no," sighed Nebuya.

"Don't be so crude," snapped Mibuchi.

"That's not what I'm talking about," said Hayama quickly, bouncing up and down, barely able to contain the secret.

"What are you talking about then?" asked Mibuchi, trying to be patient with the hyperactive teen.

"That ribbon that got caught on Akashi's zipper. He kept it!" hissed Hayama.

"He . . . kept it?" asked Mibuchi.

"Yes! He rolled it up all neatly and tried to be real discreet when he tucked it away in his suitcase, but I saw him!"

"That's not a normal thing to do, is it? So what does that mean?" Nebuya wondered.

"Either Akashi's a serial killer and he took it as a trophy, or he's into her! Or both!"

(Hayama's never going to make it as a detective.)

(Please review.)


End file.
